"The Pacifier"
by Barb
(Boston, Massachusetts, USA)
Against The Sky - © Mandyxclear
My daughter always loved her pacifiers.
New parents constantly hear conflicting opinions on just about every matter under the sun when it comes to their children and this subject was certainly one of them.
I heard that they could be bad for children's teeth. I heard that the plastic could cause cancer.
I listened to the good, the bad and the ugly and decided that for her it was the right thing to let her have one despite all of the horror stories.
It kept her calm. It kept me calm.
All was well in the world.
All was well until I decided that she was getting "too old" and needed to give them up.
I reasoned that once I explained to her the need to give up her beloved pacifier, that would be all she needed to hear and the deed would be done.
Little did I know who was really in control here.
I don't believe for one minute that children come into this world as "blank slates". No way!
They are born knowing the deep hidden secrets of conditioning and their subject is their parents.
This effort of mine to have my daughter give up her pacifier began our first battle of the wills and I was sorely losing. So, I did what any self respecting parent would do and I gave up.
You know what happened when I did that?
When I stopped cajoling, and bargaining, and yelling and pleading?
She came up to me one day about 2 weeks after my cease fire - handed me her pacifier and said "here mommy, I'm done with this" and that was that.
I don't advocate giving up when trying to rear your child.
I think the lesson I learned from this however was that my daughter was truly a reasoning, thinking person in her own right and would make certain decisions in her own good time.
I realized that my job then and in the future would be to steer her in the right direction and then trust that my guidance would help her to make the right choices.
