The Anger Of People's Assumptions

by Kate
(South Wales - United Kingdom)

I was 19 when I conceived my first child and unfortunately I looked even younger than that and this is a little bit about my experiences and some of the blatant assumptions that people repeatedly made.

I live in Wales (UK) and at 16 finished school and went to college but life unfortunately took a turn for the worse and before the end of my first year I had left and was trying to find my feet in life again.

I loved computers and soon found myself in a computing apprenticeship where I met my partner (he was 10 years older than me and initially was in charge of training but honestly that's not why we got together, no really it wasn't).

Anyway we moved in together and got engaged before buying a house together and getting married.

Through complications with pregnancy and our choice for me to be a full time Mum anyway, I ended up leaving the job but it was really boring anyway so I didn't mind at all.

I was still only 19 when I started to get my cute little bump which I was ever so proud of and my Mum was chuffed to bits too and yet when she told people they always seemed to reply in a condescending tone saying "Oh she's living at home with you now then is she?" and my Mum being too proud and a no-nonsense woman that she is would be quite unimpressed, "No she's not. She's married and owns her own home!"

She'd take great offense because people just kept making that assumption that my baby was an accident and that at that age I clearly wouldn't be able to support myself or even still have a relationship with the father.

Since my eye sight is somewhat limited I cannot drive either and was always going everywhere by bus when on my own but even at 8 1/2 months pregnant many people wouldn't give me a seat especially older but still fully able men who would sit beside me while I stood and then give their seat to some 50 year old woman who was clearly still perfectly able too and I'd be stood there hot and tired hanging on to the poles to stay steady.

One guy even told me off for eating snack a jacks (they're just a rice cake snack very low in fat) "You shouldn't be eating those in your condition!"

Seriously who do people think they are?

And no it doesn't stop there, the stigma continued when my little girl was born too.

But at the end of the day I know that having my girls when I was younger (My two daughters are now 5 and 3 and I'm only 24) was absolutely the right thing for me, I had no interest in being a teen any more as it hadn't gone well for me and moving on was what I wanted and wow was I broody, we even had to get kittens just to give me something to mother until we were married (bump's don't look great in a wedding dress).

And when my beautiful girls are 22 and 20 I will still only be 41 and not only will I be a part of their lives for 10-15 years longer than older Mums but I will know my daughter's children and even their children's children too and I really can't wait to share their lives with them and their families.

People can stick their assumptions where the sun doesn't shine. I was young but still a brilliant and mature Mum and I haven't a regret in the world.