Teenage Pregnancy Options Are The Various Choices Your Teenager Can Make If They Find Themselves Involved In An Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy
“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004)
Teenage Pregnancy Options is meant to be a practical guide for Parents of Teenagers who find themselves part of an unplanned Teenage Pregnancy.
Both Teenagers are going to be shocked, frightened, confused and probably angry. This is exactly how the Parents of those Teenagers are going to feel also.
Dealing with Teen Issues such as Teenage Parenting is not what most Parents have in mind when they think about their Teenage children, but an unplanned pregnancy and the revelation that your Teenager has been sexually active (if you were not previously aware) are enough the throw Parents into a veritable cauldron of powerful and conflicted emotions.
Start out by counting to ten (working your way down from a million) if you need to in order to think clearly and talk calmly.
Teenage Pregnancy Options are not only for Teenagers to consider but also for their Parents since Parents of a Teenager who still lives at home have LEGAL, PARENTAL RIGHTS over their minor children who still live at home.
Parents Do Not have the legal right to dictate what their Teenage daughter ultimately does about her unplanned Teenage Pregnancy Options.
Parents please tread very lightly with this:
Force will NOT make things better
Parents can advise, persuade and help to reason problems out, but the Teenage mother, no matter how young she may be, has the legal rights to her unborn child.
That is simply the way it is.
Teenage boys have no legal rights whatsoever after the conception and before the birth. This is because paternity cannot be proven until after a child is born.
Some Teenagers will confide in their Parents about an unplanned pregnancy and ask “what do I do now”?
Resist the urge to reply “Well don’t you think you’ve done enough already”?
As satisfying as this may seem, it won’t be helpful to the situation at hand
Be grateful if your Teenager confides in you as many choose not to seek their Parent’s aid and support when considering their Teenage Pregnancy Options.
Teenage Pregnancy Options is to make hard, practical decisions during a very emotional, confusing and anything but practical period of time.
The questions, answers, and options are different for both the Teenage boys and girls, and decisions made by one of the two will invariably affect both of them to a greater or lesser degree, and will likely affect both families as well.
What Parents decide to do can also affect all of the above, so think of the ramifications and possible ‘unintended consequences’ of your parental choices and then choose wisely.
Some of the questions Parents should be considering at this time, though the ultimate Teenage Pregnancy Options chosen cannot come from them but must come from the Teenage mother, are as follows:
• Will your Teenager keep the baby?
• If not, will she choose to abort the baby or give the child up for adoption?
Note: Abortions are nearly ALWAYS followed by a crushing weight of guilt and doubt, and are viewed as morally wrong in most religions. I would never support such an option but do realize that this is a viable option for many.
In fact, the wife of a friend of mine recently had to be checked into a mental facility over grief and guilt she still feels about an abortion she had over 20 years ago!
So please think deeply about doing anything you may regret later on in life. Some things in life cannot be undone.
• If the baby is given up for adoption, does your State allow you to seek Grandparent visitation rights under the adoption agreement?
• Are you as a Grandparent interested in seeking these rights?
• Will your pregnant Teenage daughter stay in school during and after the pregnancy?
• Will the Teenage father choose to be involved in the baby’s life?
• Who will financially provide for this new child?
It is true that fathers are legally liable for future Child Support Payments, but how much earning power does a Teenager really have?
• Do you as the Parent want the Teenage father involved with your daughter and/or with this child?
Note: Parents have been known to relocate their places of residence to stop unwanted relationships, though this is a drastic measure that is not a permanent solution by any means.
Parental wants and wishes may not have a practical application in these matters.
• Do the Teenage Parents want to get married, and if so are they capable and responsible enough to do so?
In most cases this in not a viable option for all of the obvious reasons you can readily think of, though success and happiness in choosing this option is not an impossibility either.
• What will life be like for your Teenage daughter as a single mother?
As always, I only offer tough questions for you to consider regarding these Teenage Pregnancy Options and the many other options available that are just too numerous to mention.
Tough questions require tough answers, and that hard work is left for you as the Parent and for your affected Teenage child to answer and work out as best as you all can.
If you still have younger children in the home, a frank discussion regarding Teenage Pregnancy Prevention may be in order to help prevent similar family complications in the future.
Though it is impossible to list all of the Teenage Pregnancy Options available, as they are as varied as the stories and circumstances and Teenagers behind each one of them, it will suit our purposes to mention a few of the major Teenage Pregnancy Options Teenagers facing an unplanned pregnancy will have to face.
Some Teenage Pregnancy Options for Teenage Girls
If The Teenage Mother Decides Not To Keep The Baby
• Do you (The Teenage Mother) choose Adoption to a member of your family, extended family, a close family friend or to an unknown outside party?
• Do you choose a semi-open adoption where information such as letters and photos are shared between the adopting parents and the placing Teenage Mother? These semi-open adoptions usually don’t have any post-placement face-to-face visitation or communication between the biological Parents and the child.
• Do you choose a closed adoption where the adopting parents and the placing Teenage mother never meet, don’t communicate and generally know little to nothing about each other?
• Do you choose to Abort the Baby?
Note: Once again I Strongly Recommend that this only be considered an option of absolute last resort, since the emotional and moral scars that can and do occur by choosing this option are impossible to overstate.
Go look for and read what others who have chosen this path have to say about their decision 5, 10 or even 20 years later. Almost without exception those questioned continue to live with guilt and remorse and almost universally wish they had given their babies life and had put them up for adoption instead.
If The Teenage Mother Decides To Keep Her Baby
• Do you (The Teenage Mother) seek to maintain a relationship with the Teenage father or not?
- What form will that relationship take?
- Do you envision a future marriage and the creation of a family?
- Does the Teenage father feel the same way?
- Is marriage even a viable option at this time?
• Who is going to support you and the baby financially?
- Child Support?
- Government Assistance?
• Are you going to stay in school, even after the baby is born?
• Who is going to help you with emotional and moral support?
- Support Groups?
• Are you prepared to take care of yourself and your growing baby?
- Doctor visits?
- Prenatal vitamins, check-ups and birthing classes?
- Have you stopped bad habits like smoking and not getting enough rest?
- Are you eating right and getting enough exercise?
• You (The Teenage Father) have NO Parental rights or any say whatsoever in what a Teenage mother does with or about an unplanned Teenage Pregnancy since paternity cannot be proven until after a child is born.
• The hard truth for Teenage fathers is the only real choice you have is whether or not you decide to participate in activities that lead to Teenage Pregnancy. Once a pregnancy has occurred you have no say at all regarding what happens in that pregnancy, legally speaking of course.
• If the child is born and it can be proven that you are the father, you will likely be required by the courts to pay some form of Child Support Payments until the child is 18 years old.
• Do you want to maintain a relationship with the Teenage mother?
- Does she want the same thing?
- Does her parents support or oppose you having a relationship with the mother and/or with the baby?
- Do you want to marry the mother and start a family?
- How will you financially support a family?
- How will you financially support a child?
• Do you want to stay involved in the child’s life and future?
- Does the Teenage mother feel the same way?
- How much are you willing to give of yourself and to serve and parent your child if allowed to do so?
- Are you willing and able to take an active role in the parenting of your new child?
- Is your current lifestyle a Healthy Parental Example for a young child to follow, or do you need to make some course corrections in your life?
• Teenage Fathers have the same parental rights to the child as the mother does after birth, namely visitation and even Child Custody Rights.
• Do your Parents want to be involved with the child once it is born? Grandparents can assert visitation rights to be involved in the life of their Grandchild if these rights are not extended to them voluntarily.
• Teenage father who don’t want to be involved in the life of their child may legally resign all rights to their child, which the courts may or may not accept.
Note: This does not relieve the Teenage father from their duties towards their child.
This ‘relief of paternal duty’ can only occur if the child is legally adopted and those rights and duties are legally transferred over to the adoptive parents.
As can be clearly seen, the best Teenage Pregnancy Options are those that are freely and voluntarily exercised BEFORE a Teenage Pregnancy occurs.
Once there is a baby resting comfortably with its mother the options for both Teenage mothers and fathers are drastically limited.
Parents need to remember that even good Teenagers can make bad decisions, and it only takes once such bad decision to set in motion all of that which we have been talking about.
Your children need your parenting love, skills, teachings and an open and honest channel of parental communication.
Teenage children need these things more than most.
Teenagers who are confronted with deciding between various Teenage Pregnancy Options need all of the above more than any other child in the world.
We as Parents need to remain humble and forgiving; if our children succeed we are only partially responsible, and if they take some wrong steps along the way we are only partially to blame.
We as Parents can lead and direct, but our children must make their own decisions and live their own lives, especially Teenage children who are fast approaching adulthood and ultimate personal independence.
The topic of Teenage Pregnancy is too important to cover in one single page, so please read these additional pages on the subject:
Learn how Parents can support, guide and direct their Teenage sons and daughters who are involved in a Teenage Pregnancy where the Teenage Mother has decided to have and keep the baby.
There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Teenage Pregnancy Options thought: Be the Parent who lovingly and empathetically helps their Teenage son or daughter through the difficult and confusing choices surrounding an unplanned Teenage Pregnancy so that your Teenager can once again be happy with the actions they are taking and the life they are striving to live at any time, for any reason, over and over again.
Teenage Pregnancy Options Are Just The Time, The Place, And The Event For Parents To Show Their Love, Solidarity, And Determination Towards Their Teenage Children Who Need Them Now More Than Ever Before!