Teenage Mothers Are Thrown Into The Adult World Where They Are Not Fully Prepared To Be; Without Parental Assistance The Damage And Hurt Will Only Grow Worse
So you’re going to be a Teenage Mother. There are lots and lots of things you are going to need to know, things you will need to start doing and also stop doing, and some things to be aware of so that both you and your child can be safe, happy and successful. Being a Teenage Mother is not easy. Your Parents are going to be an invaluable sources of knowledge and support to you and your baby (their Grandchild) and are a key ingredient to your future success and welfare. Obey them. Confide in them. Allow them to love and help you. Being a mother at any age is a challenge, but being a Teenage Mother is extra challenging for two main reasons: - You yourself are still very young and actually still have lots more to learn about life and parenthood (even if you secretly think you already have it all figured out), and - Being a Single Parent is much more challenging than having the help of a loving and committed spouse or partner to help share the Parenting duties, burdens and responsibilities with. Regardless, you have chosen to give your baby life and a chance to be, and I applaud you for your courage, empathy, unselfishness and pure love. When times get hard, as they sometimes do, keep in mind the Parenting P’s, and this will help you until brighter days are here again. No matter what your ongoing relationship with the father of your child may be, or even if there is a relationship with him or not, you need to allow his parents as well as your own parents to help and support you during your pregnancy, and to have a relationship with the baby who will soon be coming into the world. If you have any on-going tension or friction with your parents then you need to find the way to mend and heal that relationship. You need to be as close to and as confiding with your parents as you possibly can be. Create the relationship with your parents that you hope your baby will one day have with you. Share Your Teenage Pregnancy Story YOUR story WILL make a difference. There is no greater teacher than to teach by example. Your parents love you and you are going to need their help and support during this process and beyond, so make peace and mend fences and help to heal your own family in the process. If your parents are upset or are having a tough time dealing with your pregnancy, allow them their emotions as this is not an easy thing for any parent to come to terms with. Be loving and patient with them and allow them to heal in their own time and in their own way. Like any mother, Teenage Mothers need to take care of themselves and their growing babies in the following ways: • Have regular doctor visits and get the prenatal care that you and your baby need to stay healthy • Participate in a quality childbirth class where you can learn more about pregnancy, giving birth and being a great parent • Eat a healthy and balanced diet and always remember to take your prenatal vitamins that are specially formulated to ensure proper development of your growing baby. Note that most pregnant women need an additional 300 calories a day for the health of their growing baby. If you want to watch your figure, just choose healthy foods instead of junk foods for that extra 300 calories (easy to say, hard to do, don’t we all know it – Yet you WILL find a way to do it) • Get plenty of rest and maintain a regular exercise program that is approved by your doctor • Avoid Substances that will harm you or your baby such as tobacco, alcohol, an excess of caffeine (an excess of caffeine has been clinically linked to an increased risk of miscarriage) and illicit drugs of any kind • And just in case you still need to be reminded of this next one, avoid risky sexual behavior and unprotected sex that can still cause STDs and AIDS to both you AND your baby (As always, I recommend no sexual relations outside of marriage – Check out this Teenage Sexuality Page to read some of the reasons why)
Teenage Mothers face many challenges and risks associated with your pregnancy and the many factors that are directly related to your pregnancy. Here are just a few of the risk factors to consider: • Teenage Mothers have a higher risk of dropping out of school • Higher risk of living in poverty • Higher risk of physical and mental illness Note: Children of Teenage Mothers are also at higher risk of all of the above factors just mentioned • Teenage Mothers are at higher risk for the following medical conditions: - Fetal Death • Higher risk of stress, frustration, resentment and anger directed toward their newborn children • Higher risk of abusing and/or neglecting their babies Note: A good idea is for pregnant Teenage Mothers to spend some time with other parents of newborn children to see what parenting a newborn really involves, and to get a better sense of what they as new mothers will shortly be dealing with themselves • Higher risk of loneliness and depression Please note that these are RISKS and NOT a list of what to expect FOR SURE. Though reading this list of risks may prove a bit scary, it is always better to be informed of the challenges facing us so we are better prepared to overcome them if and when they actually appear in our own lives. Remember that not everything we fear actually happens – Most of our fears never happen at all. To be aware is to be better prepared, and that is what this section is meant to do for you as a Teenage Mother.
Teenage Mothers should forgive themselves if they haven’t already done so. Things happen in life and what is most important is to learn from the difficulties in life so they aren’t painful experiences we suffer without an accompanying benefit to us in return. Forgive anyone and everyone you may have hard feelings for so you can be at peace with yourself and with the world, and so your growing baby only has positive feelings and emotions radiated out from you and into your growing baby. Your emotional health and outlook is as important as proper nutrition to your growing baby – It all makes a difference and it’s all that important. And here is a secret about forgiveness that not many people know: Resentment is a cancer – Forgiveness is the cure. Teenage Mothers need as many good things going for them as possible, so cast away any negative thoughts, feeling or habits that you many have and start fresh from this moment on. You and your baby will be the better for it. Teenage Mothers need to remember to have fun in life and especially during their pregnancy. To be a mother is a special blessing and gift and an appreciation for these blessings should be a part of your everyday life. Parenting Fun doesn’t have to wait until your baby is born. Make plans now for the happy and fun parenting times you hope to have in the future. Enjoy the process of deciding on what Baby Names you would like to choose from. Participate in and do all of the fun things any other expectant mother would do. Fill your days with the joy and wonder and excitement that comes with being an expectant mother. Heaven knows that as a Teenage Mother you have more than your fair share of challenges and struggles waiting for you on the horizon, so get into the habit now of finding the joy and happiness that is also to be found in motherhood. Happiness doesn’t have to wait. It can and should be part of your life starting today – starting right now in fact!
To end our discussion on Teenage Mothers, now is the time to think about how to better your situation in life for the future of both you and your baby. Decide now to stay in school and to graduate and to seek more education after that. Maintain positive and healthy relationships with both sets of Grandparents (your parents and the father’s parents) in so far as that is possible and is the Grandparent’s wish as well. Continue a relationship with the father of your child if you have a positive and healthy relationship with him, or set boundaries and clear limits if you do not. Your first and clearest duty as a Teenage Mother is to protect your child at all costs. Only allow healthy and happy relationships to touch your child, both now and in the future. Every child does better with both a father and a mother in their life, and if the father of your child is a good influence and wants to participate in the life of your child then all the better for everyone involved. Even if you and the father don’t see marriage or a continuing relationship in your future, having a loving and involved biological father as part of your child’s life can only be a good thing. Healthy families are the places where children thrive and grow the best. Look for ways to improve yourself and to provide the love and support your child needs so that one day you too may be the type of person who attracts a quality father and husband into your life to fully complete your family unit (if this is what you desire for your future). We have to be lovable and likable to attract a lovable and likeable person in return. Of course there is no rush, and some parents stay single either by choice or by circumstance, but now is the time for you to decide what YOUR PERFECT FAMILY FUTURE is going to look like, and then determine what steps you need to take in your life to make that vision of your perfect future family happen for you and for the child you love. A happy future, like good parenting, doesn’t just happen; you have to make it happen. So decide now what your future, and the future for your baby and for your home life and family structure is going to look like, and then go out and work to make it happen! The topic of Teenage Pregnancy is too important to cover in one single page, so please read these additional pages on the subject: • Teenage Pregnancy – A Parental Perspective Learn how to help your Teenager in need and how to come to terms with your own painful and confusing Parental emotions regarding Teenage Pregnancy. • Teenage Pregnancy – Prevention What Parents can do to help prevent an unplanned pregnancy in the lives of the Teenagers they love. Explore the various options that are available to Parents and Teenagers alike once an unplanned Adolescent Pregnancy has occurred. There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Teenage Mothers thought: Be the Teenage Mother that provides a healthy and loving environment for your baby, both before and after the birth of your baby, and protect and love your child so they will always know that they have the BEST mother in the world at any time, for any reason, over and over again. Teenage Mothers Need To Learn And Grow Beyond Themselves, Ideally With The Support of Both Sets Of Parents, To Fix What Needs Mending And To Be Dedicated To Being The Type And Quality Of Mother Every Child Needs And Deserves In Order To Be Healthy, Happy And Successful In Life. Return from the Teenage Mothers Page to the Teenage Parenting Page
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