Puberty Is The Transition From Childhood To Physical Adulthood And A Wise And Involved Parent Can Make All The Difference In The Life Of The Preteen They Love
Just as life is a series of lessons which must be lived to be understood, so also Puberty is best approached with the proper understanding of what is going to happen and yet can never fully be understood until we go through that process ourselves. An exceptional Parent will become an encyclopedia of knowledge concerning the changes that occur during this time in a young person's life and will then discuss these ‘Previews of Coming Attractions’ with their own Preteens. Adolescent Parenting, or parenting a 'Tween', gets easier the more knowledgeable and involved you become. Your Preteen will greatly benefit from knowing what changes to expect, when they can expect these changes to occur, and the reasons behind why they are occurring. At its most basic level, Puberty is nature’s way of ensuring that the human race can reproduce itself and continue to populate and inherit the earth. Share Your Favorite Preteen Parenting Saga Something surprising from your Preteen? But the bigger and more important benefit to discussing these items with you Preteen is to officially open up the lines of communication between you and your Preteen concerning matters that are complex, confusing and often difficult to discuss. This conversation, or better yet this series of conversations must occur so that your Preteen can know that no matter how awkward and uncomfortable the subject matter may be, they can always talk to you as the parent about those subjects and get honest answers to their questions and concerns. This communication link will become a veritable lifeline as your Preteen becomes a Teenager, and it is up to you as the Parent to establish this Parent-Child communication and to keep it open and functioning.
So here are some basic A-B-C’s regarding Puberty that every Parent should know: • Puberty is initiated by hormones signaling the gonads (ovaries in girls and testes in boys) to start the physical process by which a child’s body becomes an adult body capable of human reproduction • Puberty, strictly defined, refers to the physical changes leading to an adult body, but does not refer to the social, psychological and emotional maturity necessary for happy and successful adult living • It usually occurs between the ages of 9 to 14 for girls and between the ages of 10 to 17 for boys • Physical changes in females include: - advanced development of the breasts, hips, vagina, uterus and ovaries (all necessary for creating and sustaining new human life) - menstruation - pubic hair - body odor, and - the probability of acne • Physical changes in males include: - increased size of the testicles and penis leading to sperm production and male fertility - pubic, underarm, chest and facial hair - lowering of the voice - increased muscle and skeletal development - body odor, and - the probability of acne • Genetics plays a role in this process • Environmental and Nutritional factors affect the timing of female Puberty to a greater extent than they do for males • Nutrition is the strongest factor affecting Puberty, and - consuming sufficient calories and having sufficient body fat signals the brain that the body has sufficient resources to initiate Puberty and fertility - diets lower in protein and higher in fiber (such as a vegetarian’s diet) tends to delay the onset of Puberty in females - insufficient calcium and/or a lack of vitamin D from too little time spent in the sun, are also factors that delay the onset of Puberty Learning the facts and figures surrounding Puberty is the easy part. Taking what you know and preparing your Preteens for this transitional stage of their lives in the part that requires Parental skill, patience, sensitivity and love. So what is the best way to talk to your Preteen about this issue? A good start is to make sure you are in a private location where you and your Preteen feel comfortable and at ease, and where you will not be disturbed or interrupted. If both Parents wish to have this discussion together with their Preteen then you need to make sure that both Parents are on the same page as regards to this issue. The last thing your Preteen needs is to see his or her Parents arguing over the facts regarding Puberty. That is Not the way to instill confidence in the message you are relaying to your Preteen. I recommend that this conversation be done one-on-one with the Preteen and one of the Parents. Wait a few weeks and repeat this conversation with the Parent who sat out on the first discussion having this next one. This second Parent-Preteen meeting can be a follow-up time to ask if there are any questions the Preteen has about what was originally communicated that the second Parent can clarify or answer more fully. Both Parents can then discuss these matters openly and together with their Preteen in any future settings as all of the ‘Cards’ should now be on the table for all to see. What communication style should flow within these Parent-Preteen chit chats?
My suggestion is to stick to the basics; old school works best in these situations. Be clear and precise and be as specific as your Preteen is comfortable with. Don’t use slang or street names for body parts. Being precise and clinical in how you explain these matters will instill confidence in your Preteen that they are getting the true story from a trusted source. If you are embarrassed speaking this way then get over that feeling for your Preteen’s sake. During these discussions you need to emphasize to your Preteen that you now view them as being more grown-up, and that they should now feel free and welcome to speak to you openly and about anything at all and you will give them honest answers to anything they want to know. You will be surprised at just how many questions your Preteen has for you once they know it is really ok to ask you! Never get angry with your Preteen during these conversations. These conversations need to be a ’Free Zone’ for your Preteen or this concept of open communication with your Preteen will never work. These conversations will soon turn into conversations about whatever it is that affects and interests your Preteen the most. Enjoy Parenting your Preteen in this manner. You are now squarely on the road to great Parental happiness and success! There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Puberty thought: Be the Parent who can talk to their Preteen about Puberty and life and love and anything and everything at any time, for any reason, over and over again. The following video illustrates some of the physical changes that occur in girls during this phase of life. The lessons can easily be applied to either boys or girls with a simple understanding of the changes that occur in either sex during this time. This next video emphasizes some of the non-physical and non-clinical sides of becoming an adult, in particular of changing from a boy into a man. The emotional side of maturing, of knowing yourself and acting in a responsible manner, is illustrated to remind us that becoming a true and serviceable adult is much more than merely the passage of time and the hormonally driven physical changes that will occur in all of us. Puberty is a time of rapid change and physical maturity. Being open and honest with your Preteen about this universal process, what to expect, and the fact that it will eventually happen to everyone will help to demystify this process for your Preteen and will smooth this transitional period for your Preteen in more ways than one.
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