Preteen Sexuality Is A Contradiction In Terms And Is Not Appropriate Behavior For Any Preteen To Engage In, On Many Different Levels And For Many Different Reasons, As Explained Below




“If fifty million people say a foolish thing,

it is still a foolish thing."

Anatole France (1844-1924)




Preteen Sexuality is a contradiction in terms that needs to be discussed and clarified by every Parent who has Preteen children.

That this Adolescent Parenting topic needs to be discussed at all is a sign of how far away from common sense and family values we may have drifted while we have been busy doing other things.

As the saying at the top of this page illustrates, even if half the world thinks something in particular it does NOT mean that half the world is correct in their way of thinking.

If the whole world decided that 2 + 2 = 3, just because the whole world decided that it was so, it would in fact NEVER be so.

    Is your preteen sexually active?

Do you agree with this, or do you have a warning to other parents about this?

Tell us what you think about this most important topic.

With this in mind, let me share with you a little of what others are thinking, or wondering about, as it relates to Preteen Sexuality, and why I felt compelled to write this page when I had no thought of doing so beforehand.

As part of the workings of this website I am able to see what keyword search questions or phrases led visitors to this Preteen Thru Teenage Parenting Action Guide Website. In other words, what information are people looking for that they hope this Website might answer for them?

Here are a few of the inquiries that have been made by visitors so far:

Q: Is it normal for Preteens to be sexually active?

Q: Preteen Behaviors?

Q: Preteen Sex?

Q: Tween Sex?

Q: The family and Preteen Sex?

Q: Preteen’s first time?

Q: Sexually Active Preteens?

To my great surprise and, I must admit, with a sense of disappointment these internet inquiries showed me that the topic of Preteen Sexuality is not as universally well-understood as one might have supposed, and hence this brief and clear and non-ambiguous discussion which follows.




A-Happy-Couple - © Mando2003us



Preteen Sexuality is to ask a young and tender oak tree to bear the weight of a ten room tree house in the midst of a hurricane; it simply can’t be done.

If you have a Preteen who is acting out sexually and would like some help in stopping this behavior, you can try this Highly Acclaimed Parenting Program as part of a Free Offer.

That is not to say that Preteens are not capable of having sex, they clearly are. That they are not equipped emotionally and psychologically to do so is the issue at hand.

Preteen girls think it is love and Preteen boys are caught up in the lust of the moment, and neither are really prepared for the consequences of a possible pregnancy, STD, or the emotional devastation and confusion that follows doing things of great consequence before you are ready to do them.

Preteen Sexuality is to place burdens of maturity and responsibility where it cannot properly be placed, just as a young oak tree is not ready to bear heavy burdens until it grows, matures and strengthens into an adult oak tree.

Since Preteen Sexuality is just a small step away from Teenage Sexuality, if you have not already read the information on Teenage Sexuality, now would be a great time to do so.

If Teenagers are not ready to engage in sexual activity then how much less are our Preteens ready to do so?

Remember that we are talking about Preteens here; children between the ages of 8 and 12 years old.

Preteens have many activities and social pressures to concern themselves with at this time; Preteen Sexuality should not even be on their minds and much less in their actions at this time of life.

Parents need to set very clear and understandable Rules and Expectations for their Preteens to follow so that there is no confusion about what is and is not acceptable and appropriate within your family rules, values and expectations.

Having said this it is vitally important that you answer all of your child’s Preteen Sexuality questions.

All of them!

Take the mystery out of sex as much as is age appropriate for your child.

Parental Communication skills are a MUST to do this properly and effectively.

Answer all of the questions they wish to ask you about how babies are made, about male and female anatomy, the issues surrounding Puberty and how their bodies are changing; the more open and honest you can talk to your child the better for the both of you.

If your Preteen has a special someone they like in a special way, then discuss with them your thoughts and find out what your child's thoughts are regarding Preteen Puppy Love.

Note: Try not to refer to it as a ‘Puppy Love’ to your child or you may lose them before the conversation even begins.

(Puppy Love is such a ‘baby term’ to those who are in it)




Love - © Pingu1963, Very Busy



The plain truth is that Parents should be talking to their Preteens about school and sports and hobbies and what they want for their birthday and NOT talking about birth control methods, sexually transmitted diseases, taking an AIDS test, how to practice safe sex and what to do about an unplanned pregnancy.

Sounds pretty scary, doesn’t it?

What Parent of a Preteen child really thinks Preteen Sexuality is ok in any way, shape or form?

Do you think it is ok?

Of course not.

Do your children know how you feel about Preteen Sexuality?

They should.

Do your children know what you expect out of them in this regard?

They should.

Open and honest communication now is the key to not having a tragedy for you and your Preteen just waiting to happen.

Let me leave you with a few parting thoughts to consider

• Sexually active Preteens are more likely to have unprotected sex which leads to unwanted pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Diseases and AIDS, more likely to have multiple sexual partners, are more likely to be intoxicated while having sex, and are more likely to have sex for social acceptance and peer pressure reasons.

Note: Low Preteen Self-Esteem can affect a Preteen’s decision to engage in early sexual activity.

• Early dating and frequent dating are connected with early sexual experiences.

Note: Our family rule is no dating until the age of 16 (social gatherings, school dances and other wholesome and supervised activities are perfectly ok).

• Early sexual experiences are connected with intimacy and fidelity issues later on in life.

• Going steady with a girlfriend or boyfriend who is three or more years older than an individual increases their chances of having early sexual experiences. In fact, boys over 18 years of age (legal adult men) father over 50% of babies born to girls 15-17 years of age.

• Preteens often can’t see the probable consequences of early sexual activity and need loving and involved Parents to be frank and open with them concerning these risks to their health, safety and plans for their future which are all placed at risk through acting upon Preteen Sexuality.

• Overly strict parents increasing the chances of promiscuity and early sexual activity.

Note: Force NEVER works as a long-term solution, and becomes the major problem when attempted as a strategy of any kind. Only love, respect, honest communication and mutual understanding works to truly and permanently change lives for the better.

• Approximately 20% of adolescents have had sexual intercourse before the age of 15, and most of these sexually active Preteens and Teens report that their Parents are unaware that they are sexually active.

• 86% of American adults and 84% of American Teenagers say that religion is an important part of their lives, with 39% of teens say that morals, values, and/or religious beliefs affect their decisions about sexual activity more than any other factor in their lives.

• Almost all religions teach sexual abstinence before marriage and complete fidelity within marriage. Sexual abstinence cannot and should not be forced upon anyone, but the voluntary decision to practice sexual abstinence proves 100% effective in safeguarding happy lives and happy homes.



There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Preteen Sexuality thought: Be the parent who gives your child all the answers to their questions about life and love and sex and anything they want to know, as often as they want to know, in as much detail as they want to know.

Your children don’t ask you about such things?

Be proactive and get talking today!

Be the parent who educates their Preteen that sexuality has its place and time, and the Preteen years are neither, so that your Preteen can and will make wise and healthy choices for their life and their future at any time, for any reason, over and over again.




Preteen Sexuality Is A Contradiction In Terms.

Preteens Should Not Be Sexually Active.

Parents Have A Duty And Obligation Of Love To Educate And Protect Their Preteens From Sexual Activity Of Any Kind, Shape Or Form.



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