Preteen Puppy Love Is A Time For Parents To Take Their Preteen’s Feelings Seriously, And For Preteens To Be Educated In The Larger Issues Of Love, Sex, And Making Appropriate Sense Of It All
"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."
Mother Teresa (1910-1997)
Preteen Puppy Love is a time when the first inklings of romantic love are in the air for children who have never felt such feelings before.
This is largely due to the fact that many Preteens are entering Puberty at this time and the hormones that are racing through their bodies are literally creating thoughts and feelings that are first-time experiences for them.
This is the time where Adolescent Parenting knowledge and preparation can meet a very real need that those Tweens feeling the pull of Preteen Puppy Love are in immediate need of.
There are a few ground rules that Parents must understand when dealing with Preteen Puppy Love, as follows:
• Your Preteen’s feelings must be acknowledged and respected
• You must make clear or reiterate your Family's Rules and Expectations regarding boyfriends and girlfriends, the age at which your children can start dating, and your general expectations regarding matters of love and romance within the family structure
• You as the Parent need to understand your Preteen’s developmental needs and fears, and how to use this knowledge to provide your Preteens with the correct answers that really matter, and
• Gently but firmly help your child to understand their feelings surrounding Preteen Puppy Love, what those feelings really mean, and the larger and more important issues that branch out from there
We will discuss each of the above points and provide examples and illustrations for easy application of the same.
Love Is All.... - © Suchitra Prints
Acknowledge and Respect Your Preteen’s Feelings
Nobody likes having their feelings and emotions dismissed or belittled.
Parents need to understand that the feelings surrounding Preteen Puppy Love are very real to the Preteens who are feeling them, and must be taken seriously and given their due respect.
That is not to say we need to vindicate or encourage any particular feelings, but we should certainly accept them and understand the importance they play in your Preteen’s life.
These feelings make your Preteen feel grown up, desirable, popular, and normal.
After all, love is the subject of almost every song they listen to and the deepest desire of every human heart.
These feelings are natural, desirable and real.
They do, however, need to be placed within the context of a Preteen’s life, family, scholastic and social structure in order for the Parent to help their Preteen understand what role Preteen Puppy Love should play in their life, how they should view it and think about it, and where it should go from here.
The Power of Family Rules and Expectations
Every family needs to have their own set of Family Rules and Expectations regarding what is acceptable and what is expected from each member of the family.
Children actually long for and appreciate the comfort and security that comes from knowing the boundaries within a home. For as much as they may say otherwise, Rules and Expectations bring a deep sense of peace and security to those children who have them as guideposts in a life that is often confusing and arbitrary without them.
So make your family Rules and Expectations regarding matters of love and romance within the family structure understandable and universally accepted.
The earlier in your child’s life these Rules and Expectations can be in place, the more natural they will be to the children who live them.
This is a time and opportunity to let your morals and beliefs be known and disseminated within the family unit.
For example, if there were a family rule that stated children don’t start dating until the age of 16, then Preteen Puppy Love would be accepted as a feeling that cannot be acted upon at this Preteen stage of life, and half the battle would be won before it even started.
Make sure your family has Rules and Expectations and many of these Preteens issues lose their intensity before there is even an intensity about them.
45 365 True Love Ways - © Spud
Parenting Knowledge Is Parenting Power
Understanding the Preteen mind is the single best way to prepare yourself to best serve your Preteen in their hour of need.
Knowledge truly is power.
Here are some Parenting facts that will help any Parent with a child who is caught in the grips of Preteen Puppy Love:
- Of the top five fears in children ages 7 to 10, # 3 is the fear of AIDS.
- Of the top five fears in children ages 11 to 14, # 1 is the fear of AIDS and # 4 is the fear of being raped.
- Of the top five fears in children ages 15 to 18, # 1 is the fear of AIDS and # 2 is the fear of being raped.
Notice how as a child gets older their fears of sexual issues increases in number and in order of priority?
Parents should be discussing their views and expectations regarding Preteen Sexuality with their Preteens at this time if you have not done so already.
What does this have to do with Preteen Puppy Love?
Love and sex are seen as synonymous by much of the world, especially by our youth who simply don’t know any better due to their tender age and lack of experience in these matters.
That is where you as the Parent with your open and honest communication with your Preteen, along with your family Rules and Expectations, come to the rescue.
The ideal time to talk to your children about sex is when they are still Preteens.
The ideal conversation starter is?
Preteen Puppy Love!
A few more facts you as the Parent should be aware of:
- Many young girls who lack fatherly affection within the home often seek this love through inappropriate sexual experiences outside of the home
- A negative self-image often leads to early sexual activity
- Overly strict parents increase the likelihood their children will act out sexually when the opportunity arises
- Many children believe that having sex will make them more adult
- Twenty percent of all adolescents have had sex at least once before their 15th birthday
- Only about one in three Parents with sexually active fourteen-year-olds believe that their child is in fact sexually active
- The vast majority of Preteens and Teenagers see their Parents as the most influential source of correct and trusted information on sex available to them
Help To Put Preteen Puppy Love Into Its Proper Perspective
Now that you are armed with all of this information, what are you going to do with it?
You are going to start out by knowing that your Preteen is already thinking about sex, AIDS and other adult-oriented matters, and that they are looking to you as the Parent to provide the correct answers.
Help your Preteen to understand that it is flattering to be liked, and that Preteen Puppy Love is a normal part of a normal life, but that these feelings should NOT be acted upon at this time in their life.
Help your child to see their own incredible and inherent worth without feeling the need to justify that sense of worth through having a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or through any other ‘outside measuring sticks’ that abound for such purposes.
Explain to your child about Puberty, hormones, and all of the different changes and feelings and emotions they will shortly be going through, and that all of these changes and events and feeling are normal and to be expected.
Set appropriate family Rules and Expectations to take away a lot of the confusion regarding these issues from the start.
Preteen Puppy Love is the perfect time to bring out into the open a myriad of topics that your Preteen needs to know about but has no way of knowing without your loving guidance and support.
Help your Preteen to see these topics as natural steps in their progression, and not as a final destination in a life that is just getting started.
There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Preteen Puppy Love thought: Be the Parent who is wise enough to talk about sex early enough in your child’s life to have it make a positive difference.
Be the Parent who is courageous enough, and in tune enough with your child’s life, to discuss what needs to be discussed with the ones you love at any time, for any reason, over and over again.
Preteen Puppy Love Is A Real Emotion That Must Not Be Discounted, But Used As A Platform For Parents And Preteens To Talk About The Larger Issues Of Love, Life, Sex, And Their Proper Place In A Happy Life And Within The Boundaries Of Your Happy Home.
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