"Home is the place where boys and girls first learn
how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and
consider the rights and needs of others."
Sidonie Gruenberg (1881-1974)
Preteen Parenting is a time of transition. This phase of life, also known as Preadolescence or the 'Tween' years, is the time between childhood and adulthood.
Preteen or Adolescent Parenting deals with the transition period generally recognized as starting at age 8 and going through age 12. This is followed by the teenage years starting at age 13 and going through age 19, with the finale and logical conclusion being the creation of a newly minted adult.
These Preteen Parenting years must be done correctly or your child may never really grow up.
Laying down solid Parenting Roots is essential for healthy preteen growth and development.
We also like to remember the Parenting P’s when it comes to sound parenting strategies and vision.
Preteen Parenting is parenting children through the process of growing up. With that definition some parents may view this task as never ending since some children seem to never really grow up.
We may even know a few adults that fit into that category, but I digress...
The goal of Preteen Parenting is to help your Preteen child navigate waters that are choppy, chilly, full of dangers (both real but mostly imagined), and which are ever changing with the level of complexity required of their growing worlds.
One of the basic tenants of Preteen Parenting, or parenting any child for that matter, is to share with children your strengths and NOT your weaknesses.
Resolve now to be the best parent you can possibly be.
If you are a bit nervous or would just like some additional help getting through to your preteen child, we recommend this Simple, Step-by-Step Program for parents to help their preteens in ways they never imagined possible. This is the only program of its kind that we recommend because it works. You can try it as part of a Free Offer today!
It can’t hurt to try it for free, and it just may be the additional preteen help you’ve been looking for.
Like the first rule of medicine, your Preteen Parenting job is first and foremost to do no harm.
Do you have a particularly interesting Preteen Parenting Story?
One of the difficulties you will face is that you yourself may have had a rough time swimming these same waters you are now tasked with helping your child to get through safely. Besides, it was so long ago, and the world was such a different place when you were growing up and dinosaurs ruled the earth.
Sorry, that’s going back a little too far . . .
The good news is though times may have changed, people are still very much the same as they always were.
If you understand some basic rules of Preteen Parenting, you can apply these rules to practically every situation involving Parenting and move the odds greatly in your favor towards success.
Since it was probably a while ago since you were a Preteen, let me remind you of a few Preteen Parenting issues your child is facing and which you will need to help them confront and overcome.
Preteens view the world very differently than they did just a few years or even months ago. They are now becoming more aware of and have a more realistic view of the world as it really is. Their new world views include:
- The beginnings of self identity, including issues of Preteen Self-Esteem, morality, and questioning the world and why the people in it act as they do
- Preteens are beginning to feel the pull of Preteen Peer Pressure and the temptation to lie in order to 'fit in' with those around them.
Parenting Preteen Liars is an excellent resource and should not be overlooked.
They view human relationships with more clarity (Mom and Dad are no
longer perfect beings but can actually make mistakes and sometimes be
- They are approaching or are already dealing with Puberty
with a fuller understanding of the differences between the sexes. They
are hearing for the first time about sex and related topics that will
require your input and clarification
- They are experiencing their first romantic feelings (Preteen Puppy Love)
- They no longer fear 'The Boogey Man' ,
or monsters under the bed, but are starting to have realistic fears of
kidnappings, rapes, school lock-downs and actual harm that could come to
them in the real world they are beginning to see more clearly
Identification of realistic job expectations (I want to be a lawyer
and not Superman) including chores and responsibilities that they now
have to perform. They should now be required to help and serve, and
that is not always easy to cope with nor transition into
- A desire for greater independence while still needing the feeling of being protected and comforted as they learn the bounds and get the hang of the independence they seek yet don’t yet understand
Are you ok?
I’m just asking since you look a bit worried after reading that partial list of what your not so little angel is now, or will soon be going through.
Do these Preteen Parenting topics bring back some uncomfortable feelings and memories for you?
Now you can remember what feelings and emotions your Preteen children must be going through.
It will help you to be a better and more understanding listener.
Keep it natural.
Keep it real.
Don’t freak your Preteen out and do pretend that you are comfortable with the process.
A great piece of advice to remember is: Fake it until you make it.
One of the biggest Preteen mysteries you will help your child work through is Puberty.
Now granted some children won’t go through this in their Preteen years (boys usually go through this around the age of 14 and girls around the age of 12), but since I assume you plan on keeping your children around for the long run, you will need to understand this process, how it affects your child, and how you and your child can both get through it successfully.
This is a process that will, in a large part, define how you and your child act, react, relate and communicate with each other for the rest of your lives. Now is the time to strengthen your lines of communication, all the while acting like it is no big deal and the most natural thing in the world.
This is the time you begin to interact with your children as the young adults (Preteen People) they are turning into.
Be natural and don't 'freak out' on them. Establish a comfortable and trusting environment for your child to come to you and get the information they need to learn about life, their changing bodies, sex and all things Preteen they would love to get the answers on.
After all, if your child does not feel comfortable coming to you to talk and get their questions answered then they will simply go somewhere else in search of their answers.
At the end of the day who do you want your Preteen child learning their sex and life questions from? It can be from you or from their class mates who don’t know any more about the facts of life than your child does.
Chances are good that anyone else will give your child the wrong answers that your child will just assume are the facts.
So relax and help your child to relax. And then start talking.
How does one get this right?
That is a question only you can answer for you and your family.
You don’t get it right by doing nothing. Ostriches aren’t safe with their heads buried in the sand and neither are good parents.
You now know a little more about what your Preteen children are thinking, or at least you have a better idea than you did before coming to this website.
This is a Parenting Action Guide, so go take some action.
The best first impressions of your child and you talking about matters of true consequence are the ones that are barely noticed. Make it natural and beat around the bush if you have to in order to discover what things your child may be thinking about.
Go to dinner or to a favorite activity just the two of you where you as the parent can start to ask about what’s on your child's preteen mind, what they may be hearing about life and boys or girls in school, or whatever it may be.
Just make a start and don’t get discouraged if at first your Preteen doesn’t open up to you. Stay positive and Resolve Within Yourself to keep at it until you succeed.
Let them know you are there to answer any questions they may have, now or whenever they may have them, and that you will NEVER get upset if they ask you something they are curious about.
And that means never.
Remember, IF your child has something upsetting to say, wouldn't you rather know it than not? And who better to hear it from than directly from your child?
This all revolves around effective Parental Communication between parent and child. If you can't communicate with your children, then learn how to do so while there is still time to make a difference in your child's life.
Proper Preteen Parenting creates the environment where your child will feel both safe and comfortable confiding in you and eventually they will.
This is one of the simple secrets of successful Preteen Parenting, yet how many parents never learn this lesson?
There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Preteen Parenting thought: Take the time to be the parent that your Preteen child will be comfortable going to at any time, for any reason, over and over again.
Take The Time To Make A Difference In Your Preteen's Life Today!