People Parenting Asks Us To Review Our Parental Attitudes And Where Our True Motivations Lie

As we enter the New Year it seems that my thoughts are somewhat reflective in nature. People Parenting is another page that follows that muse of considering our parental attitudes towards those whom we parent.

The obvious implication is that the better and purer our attitudes towards our children are, the better our parenting results and satisfaction will be.

Following this line of reason, People Parenting will take a look at three aspects surrounding parental attitudes and intentions that can and do affect how we feel towards our parenting duties, the motivations that drive our parental actions, and if those motivations are clearly centered on the welfare of our children.

(The fact is that we can often be acting in ways that are not in the best interest of our children and not even know it. Thinking about our motivations and intentions, such as what will happen by digesting the contents of this People Parenting page, is often all it takes to see where we may have lost parental focus and why this may have happened. We can then decide what to do to make things all right once again.)

People Over Things – People Not Things

The first of three items to remember as it relates to People Parenting is that we parent people, NOT things.

This may seem obvious, yet how often do we find ourselves caring about our THINGS more than we care about our CHILDREN?

Case in point: That spilled glass of milk, and how we react to it. How you react to when your child spills a drink, or drops a plate of food, or has some other common childhood accident around the home, tells a lot about how well we are doing in this aspect of parenting.

Teenage Bubbles - ©

Though having to pick up a spill is frustrating at times, and soiled rugs and carpets can try our patience, which of these items is really of immense value compared to the value of our children’s feelings and need for parental patience and understanding?

Of course, if children are intentionally acting out, such as an outburst associated with Attachment Disorder, then that is another matter. We assume for People Parenting purposes that this is not the case.

If you yell and scream at your child (who has feeling and emotions) for spilling a glass or dropping a plate (glasses and plates are both items void of feelings, emotions, and life itself), then in these instances you are caring more for things that have no feelings over your own children who do have feelings.

Carpets can be cleaned, you can buy some more milk, but how you treat your children will set the path they walk on, and will determine their feelings and impressions that make up their memories of growing up.

Figure out loving and creative ways to help your children when they do something that is not right, or for when they make a mistake. Remember that actions like spilling milk falls under the category of an accident, an unintended mishap, and NOT an intention evil deed done.

Your children are more important than anything you can buy or sell.

Houses can be cleaned, rooms can be put in order, but People Parenting reminds us that children need a consistent and loving parental response to their foibles and oft times awkward attempts to learn and grow. Always treat your children as the true treasures they are: valued beyond any earthly price.

Individuals with Independent Destinies

Another parenting mistake People Parenting seeks to warn us of is that of imposing OUR wills for our children’s life onto them. Another manifestation of this is trying to compensate for the things we feel we missed out on in our own lives through the lives of our children.

In other words, don’t try to live YOUR life through the deeds and accomplishments of your children.

If you always wanted to be the High School quarterback but wasn’t, do not try to force your child to become the High School quarterback that you never were. Your child may not even like playing football. Find out first before signing them up to play.

The truth is that our children have their own unique personalities, likes and dislikes, and their own unique destinies. We as parents must be aware of this truth and allow them to grow in ways that are unique and beneficial to them, and NOT try to re-live OUR lives through them.

Now in many cases children will enjoy doing things we also enjoy, but not always. People Parenting requires that we allow for this and even embrace their uniqueness and individuality. There needs to be room within your Family Rules to allow your children to become whom they themselves would like to be.

Our motivation must be on our children’s welfare, and not on how their actions and accomplishments reflect on us as parents. Keep the focus on your children where it rightly belongs.

Of course we are happy when they do well and accomplish much, but this should be desired for how it helps and reflects on our children’s growth, and not for our own selfish reasons.

Most parents tell their children to “Just be yourself”.

Do we as parents allow our children this privilege by the way we parent them?

Future Parents – We Lead By Example

And finally, People Parenting reminds us that we are showing our children how to be parents to our future grandchildren by how we parent our children today. Grandmother Wisdom would suggest we enjoy ourselves while giving our children the best of examples to follow.

It is easier to keep the proper parental perspective and intentions when we step back from the daily tasks and look down the halls of time at what it is you are actually engaged in as a parent.

We are not just “putting up with childhood aggravations”, but we are teaching and training the next generation of parents, teachers, doctors, carpenters, mechanics, and perhaps even heads of state of rulers of countries.

Each child represents a seed of potential that it is our privilege to help nurture and grow. Would you treat your children differently today if you knew they would be the Governor of your State in the future?

How about if you knew your children’s children were going to be the ones to find a cure for cancer and AIDS?

People Parenting reminds us that all of these things are possible. You can make it MORE possible every day you lead by example and parent with kindness and love.

Abraham Lincoln once said:

“Love is the chain by which we bind our children to us with an unbreakable bond.”

Mr. Lincoln knew what he was taking about.

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