Parenting Symphony Requires Parents To Be Creative In Customizing Solutions To Their Unique Parenting Circumstances

A Parenting Symphony occurs when parents use the basic principles of parenting (some of which Can Be Found Here) to customize the answers to their children’s unique and ever-changing needs.

This is like a musician’s ability to create an infinite amount of new and expressive music using only the seven basic musical notes of music.

This Parenting Symphony page is written in answer to a Single Parent’s, forum post on my website. This woman (Danielle is her name) posted a sincere parenting question on our forum pages and her question deserves an answer.

I recommend you read her Forum Post to understand the parenting question which prompted this web page reply.

To summarize before the answer if even given, Parenting Symphony explains how parents must use the principles of parenting, as explained in this Preteen-thru-Teenage-Parenting-Action-Guide, to custom-make parenting solutions to help their children in every aspect of their growth and development.

Parenting Styles, vary, as no two family situations are exactly the same, yet parents must decide what will work best for them and their children, then do what needs doing for the betterment of all involved.

And as a final precursor to this web page reply, always remember that there are no “One Right Answers” to parenting questions, as parenting is done through love and with the heart, and no one can regulate those intangibles, or say what is right and what is wrong when it comes to matters of love and heart.

Just as a musician will create the music that suits him or her the best, so parents must make the parenting decisions that suit them and their families the best.

This website serves as A GUIDE to parents, and not as an absolute truth to all things parenting.

Parenting Symphony requires parents to write their own parenting music, as it were, and then judge by the results they see in the lives of their children if their parenting approach is working or not.

Keep what works, and keep working on creative new approaches to those parts that don’t work.

And now I will answer my dear reader’s parenting question from the Forum post she posted (And if the rest of you want to read along, well that is fine by me) :-) .

May this reply help you in your quest for quality parenting for your daughter.

The good news is that your daughter is still young, being only 7 years old. There is still plenty of time to Set Family Rules and I strongly suggest you do so immediately.

Family Rules are necessary as they are the guidelines under which your family will be governed. Right now when your daughter acts up there is a general feeling that she is not behaving properly, but having ‘official’ family rules and Setting Clear Limits will take the guess work out of her misbehavior, and your response to the same.

The goal is to lovingly require your daughter to live by rules that lend peace and harmony to your home life. Rules and limits also helps children learn to live in the real world where they are ultimately responsible for their actions, attitudes and behaviors.

The fact that you have served your daughter is a great thing; getting her drinks, listening to her when she wants to talk, helping her clean her room. These shared and caring activities are all very positive and you should be commended for doing them.

Your daughter will learn service and caring from you, but you now need to do a much better job of Communicating With Your Daughter how those actions are universal actions one person does for the other, and NOT actions simply done for your daughter because she is better than everyone else.

You need to help your daughter understand that she also needs to do these things for you and for the family. You need to explain to your daughter that you were showing her a good example of proper living and that she now needs to do likewise in the home and in her life.

As for your daughter throwing fits, Parenting Symphony requires that you take another parenting principle, Discipline, and help your daughter to understand that all misbehavior will cost more in consequences than it was worth.

Do not forget that YOU are the parent, and your child WILL obey and respect you. This should be accomplished through logical rules, lovingly explained and agreed to in a family council setting, then applied without exception, to all cases of breaking the rules. Make disrespecting you and throwing tantrums a punishable offense per your set family rules.

Make the price of such misbehavior not worth it to your daughter.

Create the environment where doing wrong brings loss of privileges, extra chores, whatever really matters to your child; that is what you use to punish and correct her.

I do not suggest spanking as a general rule: the best discipline is that which helps your child WANT to be good as they are shown how good behavior is in their own best, long-term interest.

Good parenting takes time and creativity and consistent application of consequences to broken rules to help your child WANT to do right and avoid the consequences of doing wrong.

Sunrise In Machu Pichu - © thecsman

Parenting Symphony is to have hope spring from despair, just as a beautiful sunrise lifts our souls and gives us new strength and motivation to carry on.

As you can see I have given examples from pages that have already been written and published on this website. In other words, many of the answers are already here for the benefit of parents everywhere; one simply needs to take the time to read the wisdom on these pages and then apply the teachings to your parenting experiences.

Every worthwhile outcome requires our personal dedication and efforts.

I highly recommend that you review the Guest Author articles also as they all give real-life examples about many of these Parenting Symphony principles we are talking about here.

And finally, if you have pampered or spoiled your daughter too much in some things (and only you will know if you have or have not), then tell her so.

Admit to her (and to yourself) that you may have done too much for her, and tell her that you can now see by her actions that it is time for you to stop. Explain that if mistakes were made, then they were made, but now you are ALL going to do things right from this point forward.

Help your daughter to understand that life means parents as well as children can learn from their mistakes, and that your mistake was not in loving your daughter too much, but in requiring too little from her in return.

Help her to see that you must do things properly to be the types of people you will all be happy being, now and in the future.

She will understand that the new rules and consequences are a part of a healthy and normal family life. Children actually feel safer and are happier living in a world protected and defined by clear rules and logical expectations.

And you as the mother will feel like you are in control again, or at least leading by example and requiring your daughter to act in ways that will help her to be the respectful and accountable child that every child ought to be.

Best of luck in your Parenting Symphony – I know that your love and the application of the Parenting P’s will lead you to the results and parenting happiness you seek.

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