Parental Communication Is An Essential Skill For Proper Parenting

Parental Communication explains how parents can truly communicate with their children, and how to help their children WANT to hear what they have to say.

That alone is worth a hundred parenting books, and yet we are going to give you so much more. Effective Parental Communication with your children can actually be yours to enjoy.

What we are about to give you is the key, the recipe, dare I say, The Simple Secrets to enjoying a lifetime of open and honest Parental Communications with your children.

I am always exhorting parents to keep the lines of Parental Communication open with their children, and yet for some of us, this in itself is a mystery.

Well, it doesn’t have to be, and after you read this, it won’t be anymore.

Effective communications is an essential Parenting Skill that we will make understandable to all who desire to use it and benefit from it.

With this skill, this ability to communicate with your children, tasks from Disciplining Your Children to teaching them the Natural Consequences of their actions, to helping your teenagers effectively deal with Teenage Peer Pressure, will seem less like ‘Tasks’ and more like a normal and pleasant part of the parenting experience.

And please don’t despair if these keys to effective Parental Communication with your children seem ‘simple’ (since they are). The simplest actions, repeated over time, bring about the most astonishing of results!

Key No. 1: Honesty

There can be no open, on-going and effective parent-child communication without Honesty.

How do parents feel when their children lie to them?

One of our most popular pages has to do with Preteen Liars, since this is a big deal and parents everywhere know it.

(In fact, I am writing an eBook on this subject, but you will just have to wait until it is finished to read the extended version and get all the details you could ever hope for.)

Yet stop and ask yourself this: How do children feel when their parents lie to them?

Simply put, without honesty on BOTH sides of the communication spectrum between parents and children, there can be no real communication at all.

Key No. 2: Sincerity

Parents have to be sincere in their desire to talk to their children, or their children will pick up on the parent’s true desires and will shut down their listening, and their attempts to get through to you.

Listening is hard work.

This is why so few people are good listeners.

Good listening is very unselfish.

This is another reason why so few people are good listeners.

Parents need to be sincere and unselfish with their time and energy when children, especially YOUNG children, want to talk to and with them. Parental Communication is best formed and preserved when started early as a normal part of a child's existence.

This is hard to do (since young children can talk and talk and talk).

This takes a lot of parental patience (since young children can talk and talk and talk).

Parents must sincerely want to communicate with their children, to LISTEN to their children, for this to actually occur.

Parental Communication has a price to pay to obtain it; parents must truly want to be a full and active part of their child's life.

But ask yourself this: How badly do you want your children to continue to talk to you through every step of their childhood and beyond?

Parents have the ability to keep the lines of communication open or closed, depending on what you really want.

Yet the old saying still holds true: ”You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

Parents can’t turn the communication on and off at will: it is an all or nothing proposition most all of the time.

Bottom Line: If parents sincerely want to communicate with their children, it is usually there for the taking if you are simply willing to pay the right price to have it, and then to keep it.

My Baby - © D.C.Atty

Key No. 3: What’s In It For The Children?

If your children don’t know “what’s in it for them” to have an open and honest line of communication with you (their parents), then they won’t necessarily want to communicate with you since they won’t know how their life will be better by doing so.

Very young children know why they want to communicate with their parents. Their parents are their source of information about the world and all things in it.

Very young children instinctively know and understand this, and that is why they talk and talk so much, since they “know what’s in it for them.”

A wise parent will not take this season of open communication with their children for granted, but will build a healthy and lasting foundation upon the same.

Yet as children get older, they may not know as much “what’s in it for them”.

Parents need to help their children find the answer to this question so they will want to keep communicating with their parents.

The answer may or may not change with time, but only when children see the value of doing something will they want to continue to do that something.

My bottom line with my own children is: “I love you children more than anyone else in the world does. I will never lie to you, and I will always help you to have the best information to make the best decisions to help you be a happy person in life, as long as you want to confide in me and seek my advice, council or opinions. I want the best for you now and always. Who else can you trust to mean that when they say that to you?”

This has always worked for me since I am honest and sincere when I say it.

Now what is going to work for you?

Key No. 4: LISTEN

If you want your children to speak to you, then you must be willing to listen.

Parental communication involves both speaking and listening, and the side that listens longer usually learns the most.

So if you want to learn what’s going on in your child’s life, listen when they have something to say to you.

If parents prove to their children that they are honest, sincere, and have helped their children to see the value of communicating with them, then one day it finally happens.

Your child, usually a preteen child who has started to pull away from parental communication, will have a question they were hoping you could answer for them.

This is one of those simple yet significant make or break moments that will set the stage for how you and your child will communicate and interact with each other in matters that really matter.

Be NATURAL.

Nothing makes a child more uncomfortable, especially a Preteen child or older, than a parent over-reacting. In other words, be as blank as you can be and still maintain your ability to talk.

Casually ask your child what’s on their mind and then be quiet and listen.

Just listen.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Just listen.

Give them the time they need to ask you what they want to, or to tell you what they want to.

Don’t finish their sentences. Don’t assume. Don’t react. Don't rush them.

Just listen.

Then, ever so slowly, smile and say something like, “That is a great question. I’m glad you're asking me about that”. And then of course answer the question and enjoy the fruits of, and knowledge about your child’s life, obtained through effective Parental Communication.

Note: Don't EVER lie to your child.

That doesn't mean your child has a right to know everything about everything. Some things are age specific and you need to decide what your child should know and when you feel they are old enough to know it.

However, if your child asks you about something specific then chances are good that they are hearing about it at school. The time may be now to discuss the issue with your child regardless of how we may feel about it.

Life rarely happens at a good time.

Just be honest with your children and always tell them the truth.

If you ever lie to your child then you have just burned a bridge of communication with your child. Your child will eventually find out that you lied, and trust, once lost, comes back slowly if ever.

Have the courage to parent by being a positive example and role model to your children.

Never get upset over a question your child may ask.

If you do then you will likely have burned another bridge of communication with your child.

(How many bridges to your children’s trust do you think you get in life?)

Even if your child just told you something disturbing, the only way to make it right is to get all of the information you can from them and then teach your child the right way around it.

If you get upset, they will NOT want to open up to you and confide in you again, either now or in the future.

If you get upset they will NOT remain open minded about your councils and suggestions. They will only know that you are angry because they trusted you to be there to talk openly and honestly with them like you said you would.

You can’t afford to shut the door on communication by acting angry or upset, even if you are angry or upset.

Be the adult now, in this moment, for your child.

You can vent and get emotional later on and in private if you really need to.

Parental Communication requires parents to be patient, understanding and mature.

The results will be seen in the lives of your children.What parent can ask for more?

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