On my own

by Anonymous

I was 14 when I first had sex.

Me and my boyfriend Charlie had been thinking about it for ages. He told me it would show him how much I really loved him, and I believed him.

I'm not going to lie and say I didn't want to have sex because I did. I wanted to feel mature and loved and not just like them girls who do it for fun.

Charlie was 16. He said he had already done it tons of times so I felt okay in his hands.

We only done it once and that's when I missed my period. I was really scared. We did use a condom but I still could of been pregnant.

I needed a pregnancy test to be certain and I didn't want to tell my mom; she would get too angry so I went to the medical lady at school and she gave me one and said she wouldn't contact my parents as it was a confidentiality agreement. But she said I'm going to have to tell them some time.

I took the test and I was pregnant.

I told Charlie. He was annoyed with me saying it was my fault and it wasn't his. He said I was a "slut".

I felt so used. I gave him my virginity and all he done is threw it my face.

I had to tell my mom. This was when I was 5 months pregnant. She was angry but she was more angry that I felt that I couldn't tell her.

Me and my mom have bonded more since me getting pregnant so in ways it has brought us closer. Me and my mom would go to the ultrasounds together.

I used to always text Charlie about the times and dates of them but he nether bothered to come; not even to the birth of his little girl.

I was so annoyed but I didn't want Ella-Louise Mae to be brought up by an arrogant man so I decided to move away and my mom came with us.

I'm now 18 and I have got another child on the way. Me and my boyfriend Chad have been in a stable relationship for 2 years and we are moving in with each other soon.

Ella-Louise Mae now calls Chad "Dad" and I wouldn't want it any other way.