My Fifteen Year Old Is Pregnant

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My Fifteen Year Old Is Pregnant

by Tanja
(Lexington, Nebraska, USA)

Nyla's First Year In School - Granny Is Soooo Proud Of Her

I had known that my then fifteen year old daughter Keyonna had a boyfriend who was seventeen at the time and that she was sexually active.

I did not like the idea of her having sex at such a young age, but I accepted it because I knew that if I forbade it she would just sneak and do it anyway.

I even went so far as to tell her about protection. She assured me that she and her boyfriend were using condoms.

Then one day about six month into their relationship I saw the signs.

Keyonna was always tired and every morning she was sick and barely could eat her breakfast.

I did not want it to be true. I did not want my little girl to be pregnant.

I told her what I suspected was going on with her.

She started crying immediately, even got angry with me and locked herself in her room.

I guess she was scared. So was I, but I knew I had to do something.

I went out and got her a pregnancy test so that we could find out for sure. The test ended up proving what I already suspected anyway.

Keyonna was devastated, she had so many plans.

She was a cheerleader and a good student. Her goal was to go to college and have a successful career someday.

Now, she thought she would be tied down with a baby that she was not ready for.

I had to do something for her.

Abortion and adoption were out of the question. We just had to deal with it as best as we could.

Since I became a mother at a very young age I knew that it probably would put a hold on her future if she was to raise a child all by herself. I promised to help her as best as I could and that I would be there for her every step of the way.

During here pregnancy she and her boyfriend broke up. To this day I still think that he was not ready to be a father yet.

She ended up having a pretty easy pregnancy and giving birth to a beautiful baby girl.

What I did not see coming was when after my daughter gave birth she told me that she changed her mind and that she did not want to raise her baby.

In the end I was the one having to raise my granddaughter all by myself.

Keyonna just was mentally not able to take care of her.

I have no idea why my daughter never really bond with HER daughter Nyla (my granddaughter) but to this day she very seldom comes and sees her.

Nyla is now six years old, goes to kindergarten and stays with me-her granny.

I still haven't given up on my daughter either.

Maybe one day she realizes that she needs to be in Nyla's life.

Until then I'll be the mother to her that my daughter can't or does not want to be right now.

I hope that this story will inspire some young girls and boys to do the right.

I hope that by sharing about my experience that I can help others.

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My Fifteen Year Old Is Pregnant

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Hope
by: Anonymous

I hope that your Daughter eventually comes around to visit her first born little girl.

Being someone that is not able to have kids, I think she should think out her life and hopefully in the near future she'll come around; she'll come around.

I know that might not make too much sense now but hang in there and do your best, that's all anyone can ask for.

Way to make the most of it.
by: Laura

I have to thank you for sharing your story.

It must be very difficult.

I have a 16 year old girl and know that it's very hard to teach them abstinence when the entire world is telling them it's okay to have sex with whomever and however many people they want.

But I won't give up!

She had a friend that had a baby and she's seen how hard it is. She's watched her friend miss out on a lot of activities she should have enjoyed.

But I commend you for raising your granddaughter and I hope for only the best.

I hope your daughter comes back into her life.

Hats off to you
by: Shamik

You are awesome.

I must salute your courage and will power.

I pray that one day your grandchild will make you proud.

My wish is for her to be blessed with all the good things of life.

Very Compelling Story Tanja
by: Lance

Hi Tanja,

This is Lance from The Preteen Thru Teenage Parenting Action Guide and I wanted to thank you for that compelling story you shared with us.

I may or may not leave messages on stories but since this forum is new and I am excited by what I am seeing here, I did want to follow up on your story with a small "What can we learn here" segment.

Anyone who is familiar with my website will automatically know that with EVERY mistake we must look for what we can learn from it, or else it was a wasted mistake, wasted heart ache, and we are doomed to repeat that mistake in the future until we DO learn what we needed to learn from it.

But first, you are a remarkable lady who has stepped in and helped your Granddaughter more than she may ever know.

I also agree 100% with your assessment that "Abortion was out of the question".

Adoption for me is always a worthy alternative as there are many couples who cannot have children and who would make great parents, especially in a story like the one you told where neither parent is ready or able to be a parent, but you followed your heart and have been there for Nyla and God has and will continue to bless you for all the good you do!

That being said, and for the benefit of anyone else who may suspect that their teenager (girl OR boy) may be sexually active, here is what I would have done differently - And this IS NOT to criticize at all what WAS done, but only to give an alternative path parents may want to consider, to fully consider your story and how we can apply it to our own lives:

1. Don't accept that your child is sexually active. This is NOT acceptable and you as the parent need to tell your child so.

2. Don't believe that your children won't listen to you and will do what they want anyways. Parents are the MOST influential people in your child's life and they WILL listen to you if you speak from the heart.

3. Don't give up trying. You MUST tell your children your expectations and how those expectations are in your child's best interest also. Talk to them about getting pregnant and how it WILL change their lives. Explain that sex is something best kept for marriage. Don't just give up and accept defeat without trying. If your child's happiness is not worth your best effort and best fight, then what is?

Final note: Thank you again Tanja for sharing that story with us.

You are a great lady for loving Nyla so much , and that love will be needed more and more as Nyla grows older and wonders "Why doesn't my mom love me? Is it MY fault?"

Of course it in NOT Nyla's fault, and even though you tell you so, some part of her will continue to think that it must be.

Your love is needed more than ever, and I know you will be able to succeed and help and love and parent and your kind influence will be felt far into the future!

Wishing you Happy Parenting now and always!

Lance Dobieski

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Submitted by: Lance

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Hi Tanja, This is Lance from The Preteen Thru Teenage Parenting Action Guide and I wanted to thank you for that compelling story you shared with us. I may or may not leave messages on stories but since this forum is new and I am excited by what I am seeing here, I did want to follow up on your story with a small "What can we learn here" segment. Anyone who is familiar with my website will automatically know that with EVERY mistake we must look for what we can learn from it, or else it was a wasted mistake, wasted heart ache, and we are doomed to repeat that mistake in the future until we DO learn what we needed to learn from it. But first, you are a remarkable lady who has stepped in and helped your Granddaughter more than she may ever know. I also agree 100% with your assessment that "Abortion was out of the question". Adoption for me is always a worthy alternative as there are many couples who cannot have children and who would make great parents, especially in a story like the one you told where neither parent is ready or able to be a parent, but you followed your heart and have been there for Nyla and God has and will continue to bless you for all the good you do! That being said, and for the benefit of anyone else who may suspect that their teenager (girl OR boy) may be sexually active, here is what I would have done differently - And this IS NOT to criticize at all what WAS done, but only to give an alternative path parents may want to consider, to fully consider your story and how we can apply it to our own lives: 1. Don't accept that your child is sexually active. This is NOT acceptable and you as the parent need to tell your child so. 2. Don't believe that your children won't listen to you and will do what they want anyways. Parents are the MOST influential people in your child's life and they WILL listen to you if you speak from the heart. 3. Don't give up trying. You MUST tell your children your expectations and how those expectations are in your child's best interest also. Talk to them about getting pregnant and how it WILL change their lives. Explain that sex is something best kept for marriage. Don't just give up and accept defeat without trying. If your child's happiness is not worth your best effort and best fight, then what is? Final note: Thank you again Tanja for sharing that story with us. You are a great lady for loving Nyla so much , and that love will be needed more and more as Nyla grows older and wonders "Why doesn't my mom love me? Is it MY fault?" Of course it in NOT Nyla's fault, and even though you tell you so, some part of her will continue to think that it must be. Your love is needed more than ever, and I know you will be able to succeed and help and love and parent and your kind influence will be felt far into the future! Wishing you Happy Parenting now and always! Lance Dobieski

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My Fifteen Year Old Is Pregnant

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My Fifteen Year Old Is Pregnant