Letting your teen spread their wings
by Di
(Florida, USA)
One of my children and an "adopted one"
I am Mom to six children. I have always been considered the cool Mom by my children's friends. But cool or not we had rules.
1) Attend school or home-schooled (we did both at various times).
School work must be done. Education is a priority. It is #1.
I also taught my children that the library and the internet were the gateways to everything they needed to learn.
It does not matter if you know about something, what is more important is to know where you can obtain the information you need.
I believe that we should all learn new things throughout our lives.
2) Chores.
For the home to run smoothly there were chores. I don't care who you are, if you are between 2 and 102 years old and if you live in my home you can help out.
Little ones can learn to pick up their toys. They can also help make beds, put away their clothes and toys...it may not be picture perfect, but they learn and then they take pride in their accomplishments.
3) Punishment.
In society of you break rules there is punishment, it happens.
Same at home.
Time out works, restricting activities (grounding) works, taking away privleges and things like television, cell phones and video games are big punishments.
My teen is lost without that text messaging, so if you want his attention then take that away OR take away his game system...your point is gotten real quickly.
4) Jobs.
We had a small business so my children grew up working in it in some form.
As they got older they were required to get jobs to pay for their extras. It did not hurt them.
They learned to save for what they wanted and they learned the value of a dollar.
They also took great pride in and held more value for the things that they had worked to get.
I let them cut and color their hair however they wanted, it is hair and it will grow back.
Piercings, several in ear, even allowed a couple facial, nothing crazy and they grow back too.
I listen to their music, I go to concerts, I know what they are doing as they grew up. Like I said before, I have always been considered the 'Cool Mom', but hey, I was still 'The Mom'.
We were involved parents.
We were scout leaders, we had family memberships at the local YMCA.....we did things as a family.
Our family rules worked and I wouldn't have changed a thing.
