IPod Parenting Is To Decide What Family Rules To Apply To Avoid Being Ignored By Your Child Who Keeps Earphones In Both Ears, Even When You Are Together

IPod Parenting is to decide if you need to update your Parenting Rules, or put into place family rules and expectations regarding when and how your child listens to their iPod so you can avoid being ignored on purpose by that child.

Parenting Magic and other such success stories can only happen when there is an honest, effective, and consistent line of communication left open between parent and child, and no communication between parent and child can occur when a child is listening to an iPod and hence is unable to hear a word you say.

Just to be clear, this author has nothing against children having iPods per se. The whole thrust and purpose of this iPod parenting web page is to illustrate and call parental attention to the fact that if a child has earphones in their ears connected to an iPod, there can be no communication taking place between a parent and a child at such times as these.

Parents have every right to create an environment in which they can talk openly and honestly with their children, and I believe that many parents are unaware of the damage, harm, and isolation that occurs when children are listening to an iPod when they could be interacting with their parents instead.

Parents should also ask to hear what their children are listening to, as many parents would be shocked and revolted at the sex, violence, and vulgarity of the ‘so called music’ that is popular today. Don’t hesitate to restrict what your children are allowed to listen to once you make yourself aware of what it is your children ARE listening to.

Proper iPod parenting actions begin with parental awareness. Be aware of what is happening in your child’s life as that is at the heart of your parenting responsibilities.

Notice that I did not say that children would always (or ever) WANT to interact with their parents if given the choice, but a parent’s ability to guide, direct, and mentor a child through the process of Disciplining Children means that parents can enact and enforce family rules that ensures that the limited and precious time a child spends with their parent(s) will be time well-spent.

If anything in the above paragraph seems confusing, such as disciplining to mentor, or asserting your parental authority through setting rules and expectations, then I recommend to you our Free Discipline Guidelines eBook that provides a solid foundation upon which a healthy parent-child communication and mentoring relationship can occur.

Remind yourself that iPod parenting means that parents don’t have to accept anything in their homes and families that they are not happy with, and this includes children “tuning-out” their parents by hiding behind a wall of isolation via their iPods.

If you need help taking back control within your own home, there is a Highly Successful Parenting Program that can help you do just that!

I can’t tell you how many mornings I see parents driving their children to school and notice the child has earphones from an iPod in each ear, and though the parent and child are physically sitting a mere 12 inches from each other, they might as well be worlds apart from one another.

Don’t parents understand that they could be chatting with their children during this valuable commute time, instead of allowing their child to isolate themselves from parental interaction in the name of music?

I for one would not even allow a child to take an iPod to school, and most schools prohibit them as a rule since you can’t hear and concentrate on a teacher’s lesson and listen to music at the same time.

So if iPods prohibit learning in the schools, then don’t they also prohibit learning between a parent and child as well??

So the first rule of iPod Parenting is that a child takes out their earphones when the parent and child are driving together in a car.

If your family doesn't benefit from living by an established Set of Family Rules, then maybe now is the time to change that for the better.

The only logical explanation for not making such a rule is if the parent wants to avoid meaningful contact with their child. If this is the case, I simply don’t understand such parenting and am sure I cannot help you here.

The second iPod parenting rule is to ban the iPod from the dinner table during every meal of the day. Meal time is prime family interaction time and must stay that way.

The third iPod parenting rule is to prohibit the use of iPods when the child is doing homework.

Our web page on Parenting Advice exhorts parents to trust their parental instincts, so based on what you are reading here and what you already know about your child, feel free to make any limitation you want concerning the use of iPods when your child is supposed to be watching a sibling play sports, act in a play, or during any other situation where you would like your child’s participation and not their isolation.

An honest iPod parenting rule of thumb is that when the earphones go into your child’s ears, then your child has just checked out both mentally and emotionally from anything going on around them. When your child decides to listen to their iPod in your presence, then you should know that the “lights are on but there is nobody at home”.

You as the parent can make the necessary rules to keep this from happening (and you would be wise to do so).

Earphones in ears = Isolation of the listener.

It doesn’t get easier to understand than this.

Learning to love the iPod too! - © Phil Scoville

A common and persistent parenting misconception is the notion of “Quality Time” versus “Quantity Time”.

You can’t really have the one without the other.

No modern family spends enough time together as parent and child to waste a single moment. You will be amazed at how much more time you can be talking and visiting and learning and sharing with your child when they aren’t hiding behind earplugs, I mean earphones (same difference).

One never knows when a quality parenting moment will happen, so keeping the lines of communication open will only increase your odds of having more and more of them with your children as you and they learn to speak more and more often in this better environment that you as the parent as empowered to create.

The chances of raising a Preteen Liar drops dramatically as you and your preteen learn to talk and trust and understand one another through increased interaction with one another, instead of being right next to one another yet miles apart emotionally and conversationally.

Please keep in mind that this will likely not be an easy habit for you or your child to break. Old habits die hard, and nobody enjoys the process of change, though it is only through change that we grow, learn, and develop our fullest potentials. This is an ironic reality of life.

The benefits of iPod parenting without the iPod are worth the effort, and you can remind your children that there are still many opportunities that they can listen to music when you and they are not physically together doing one thing or the other during the course of the day.

You can also discover a sense of Parenting Fun when you ask your children how they don’t find the time to finish their homework and yet they have so much free time to listen to music, play video games, and talk on the telephone?

If your children are never upset with you for any of the parenting decisions you make, then perhaps you are not making enough of the tough parenting decisions that will truly benefit your children by requiring them to change, improve, and grow.

The goal is not to upset our children, though if they are occasionally upset by a parental decision we have made, then we can know that we are moving in the right direction and are serving their interests well.

IPod parenting requires you, from this point forward, to be aware that when your child has their iPod earplugs (I mean earphones) in their ears, they are hiding behind a self-imposed wall of isolation that prevents parents and children from talking with and learning from one another on a daily and consistent basis.

The main purpose in writing this iPod parenting page is to make parents aware of the lost moments and opportunities that occur when you allow your children to have their ears stuffed with earplugs (earphones) instead of demanding their ears be open so their minds and hearts can be open to talking to you, listening to you, and interacting with you in the valuable and limited time that you both have to spend together as parent and child.

Some days you may not want to talk with one another, or may honestly have nothing new to say to one another, but at least you will understand this to be the case and will not have to wonder what could or should be said between you both if only the self-imposed wall of isolation were not thrown up between you as the parent and that child with the iPod who is desperately trying not to hear you or be heard by you in return.

With so little parent-child time available to us in our busy lives, my hope is that you as the parent will see that there ARE things we can do to change this dynamic, and then make the changes needed to actually know and understand the children we parent better than we know and understand them at present.

Just think, if you act boldly and decisively then you just may find the time to get to know someone special whom you never really knew before: your own children.

Honest and open communication between a parent and child may occur at any time if given the opportunity, or it may never occur if a child has put up an iPod wall or barrier that prevents a child from interacting and communicating with the parents in their life.

Wise parents will tell their children: “Tear Down This Wall!”

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