Guest Author No. 2 – Mrs. Nicole Hall
(Week 3 of 4)

A Few Ways To Enjoy The Early Years

This is such a fun subject for me to talk, learn and write about.

Although there are many hard things about parenting, I believe they don’t have to out-number or out-weigh the wonderful ones.

There have been people in my life from which I have learned great things from. Many parents I saw in church growing up taught me lessons about enjoying children.

For instance, I would see many moms stressed to their limit in trying to keep their children under control and in their seats rather than under them. In these times, I would watch the father, and the look on his face would be one of humor! He would obviously find the situation amusing, and eventually take gentle control of his child, and have him or her sitting on his lap in no time!

I equated it to the fact that in general, women stress more than men. Because he could find humor in a stressful situation, he was able to think clearly and responsibly in delivering a solution.

So the first way to enjoy these early years is:

Find humor in each situation

My husband is an expert at this. When my daughter trips and falls, (which is often), the tendency of a caregiver would be to say, ‘Oh No’ and run and help, or to ask ‘Are you OK?’ He has taught me that if you can do a small cheer and encourage her to pick herself up and continue going, she will react in the same manner! ‘Oops! Wahoo, keep going!’ is usually all it takes for her to stay calm.

The second way to enjoy life in these early preteen years is to:

TEACH, TEACH, TEACH

I’ve said it before, but each day I am re-taught this principle: children are like sponges. They thirst for knowledge, enriching experiences, and fun!

At most of my daughter’s pediatric visits, her doctor will ask how she is coming along developmentally.

Is she pointing at things and wanting to show you them?

How many words is she using?

Does she have an interest in other children?

All these questions revolve around her curious child brain, and we as parents should be at the forefront of their learning.

Teaching a child about the world around them can be as simple as reading out loud as you read from the newspaper or magazine, allowing them to respond for themselves when an adult asks a question about them (even if they won’t know the answer), and pointing out shapes on the cereal box.

Many children will only stay idle for so many minutes without finding an undesirable activity to participate in. A parent can fix this if we initiate learning experiences for them.

Lately I have really enjoyed asking my daughter simple, open-ended questions that relate to her world. It is so fun to hear her clearly and not-so-clearly tell me her answers.

The more I have done this, the more I understand about her as well. Her answers give me insights and clues about what she notices in her little world, and what is important to her. I believe this will be an invaluable activity in our relationship for years to come.

Tricycle © Oimax

The third way to enjoy life in these early preteen years is to:

Teach your child that work is rewarding and can be fun

There are many ways to do this, but most important is by example. I’d like to share some thoughts from an author named Gene R. Cook.

“We must be sure to teach our children ‘how to fish’ and not just ‘give them a fish’. We must be careful not to provide an easy life-style for our children; rather, we must help them provide a life for themselves. If children are raised with a poor attitude about work and do not learn to sustain themselves, they will be weak and dependent as adults. They may ultimately become a liability to society instead of making a real contribution.”

One way I have applied this principle of ‘learning to fish’ with my daughter is with laundry. She loves buttons. She loves to push things in, and pull them out, and get a reaction from it. So, when it’s time to turn on the washer and dryer, I include her in what I’m doing. She pulls up a chair to be able to reach, and I hand her clothes to put in. She even helps me pour the soap into the washing machine.

Afterward, I make sure she knows that I’m grateful for her help, and help her see after the clothes are folded, that she helped me do this, and that she did a great job. Children feel a great sense of accomplishment as they work side by side with parents, and feel like they can contribute to the family work load.

Sometimes I think about how awesome it would be to have a cleaning lady - someone to come weekly to keep my house the way I want it to look. There are always things that I want cleaned, that I just don’t have the energy or time to clean! But along with this thought, I have also realized what that could teach my children.

If they only see a cleaning lady clean up, or wash floors, or iron clothes, then how will they learn these skills? Will they expect a cleaning lady to follow them to college and clean their dorm room? I don’t know…but they need to learn it from me.

Mr. Cook went on to say: “Parents must take the lead in determining what work must be done around the home and then dividing that work among their children according to their age and abilities and any special needs. A few years ago we divided up work responsibilities with a rotating job chart made from two paper plates, a large one and a small one, fastened together in the middle with a pin. On the larger plate were written the family chores; on the smaller plate were the names of the children. Each week the smaller one could be turned and the duties rotated among family members.”

Some may think ‘I don’t enjoy work myself, how can I teach my child to enjoy it?’ This is a great question, and I don’t have a solution, other than just try it! All I know is that I would much rather raise a hard working contributor to society than a lazy, under-performing one any day. I can sacrifice to have that happen.

“Work teaches a family to be together, work together, and accomplish good things together. We must be sure we don’t just send our children out to work but that we work with them. Besides getting the work done and building good relationships, spending time together provides an opportunity to discuss…important principles. Time spent together provides many ‘teaching moments’.”

Lastly I’d like to share what I have learned from one of my husband’s cousins. This cousin lives a very different life-style than most of us. While cliff diving in Southern Utah, he jumped in a shallow area and became paralyzed from the neck down. His entire life changed, as well as his future.

Despite what doctors said, he went on to attend and graduate from college, marry a wonderful woman, and they now have a 15-month old. This couple has found some of the hardest things to accomplish in raising a child to be ‘how do I pick up my son when my wife is out of the house?’ or ‘who will get him out of the crib when he wakes up if she is gone?’

Things that are ‘a given’ to regular parents are huge obstacles for them. Although many hard things are placed in their path each day, they have learned that their only choice in life is to find joy in the journey.

Because they can expect imperfect days, they can also expect adventures and new learning experiences. They are one of the happiest families I know, all because they get creative with their parenting, find humor when something doesn’t work out, and work together to find happiness in their lives - even though they have difficulties.

Let us not wait for life-changing experiences to enjoy the journey of raising children! We can enjoy life every day, and cherish the short time we have our children in our homes.


Reference:

Cook, Gene. R. 1993. Raising up a Family to the Lord. Deseret Book Co., Salt Lake City, Utah.

At that time you will be able to read the transcript from another interesting and informative Parenting Interview to help you think about the many ways you can become the best parent to the children you love at any time, for any reason, over and over again.

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