Guest Author No. 2 – Mrs. Nicole Hall
(Week 2 of 4)

On Becoming A Mother

When I was a young teenager, I would have a few parents call me to babysit their children. The thought of earning a few extra bucks was appealing, but spending 3+ hours with these children seemed undesirable. I have always really loved children and babies, but was never one to take care of my toy babies or feed them a bottle like many little girls do.

Instead, I found my interests involved things like: outside adventures, creating art projects, or following my older sister around. So needless to say, I babysat for these parents, but my whole heart was not in it each time.

A few years passed by, and because I’m the youngest of 5 kids, I had the opportunity to watch my older brothers and sister marry and begin their families. The nieces and nephews that came into my life were adorable, and I fell in love with them.

I felt like I was in the BEST situation as their aunt. I would see them at family functions or at random times during the week, and only saw their happy smiling faces. I could call the parent over when they needed a diaper changed, or when real discipline had to take place. I was just the ‘fun’ aunt in their lives and didn’t have a care in the world as far as being a primary care-giver.

After my husband and I met, and were starting to talk about our future together, the subject of children came along. We naturally both wanted a family, but had questions about when to start.

We decided that he would finish his Master’s program, and I would finish my Bachelor’s, and then we would start trying to get pregnant. This seemed like the best timeline for us at the moment.

A few months went by, and we started noticing babies all around us! There were babies behind us at church, smiling up at us in the grocery store, neighbors who would walk by with one in their arms, etc. These little ones became cuter and cuter the more we saw of them!

It even got to a point where people would call us to babysit their child because they saw how much we gooooooed and gawwwed over their baby, and knew we’d love to help out!

We eventually talked about the subject of starting our family earlier than planned, and we were both on board with the idea. Through prayer and pondering, we knew that having a baby as soon as possible was right for us. Our daughter was born to us 10 months later.

Teddy bears, pre-tossed © Scazon

My own mother is a wonderful person. In every way, she was an example to us inside and outside the home. She comforted, sacrificed, and deeply loved each of us, and we knew that. Because she was such an amazing person, I knew what was expected of me if I were to become a mother too someday.

In preparing for our daughter’s birth, I had many concerns - or maybe just questions:

“Would I know how to help her?

Would my body go back to normal after birth?

Will my husband and I still go on dates when we’re parents?

What if she is a really hard baby naturally?

Could I handle the many phases and stages of her life?”

Obviously my focus was internal. I was thinking about myself and my future. But any mom can testify that as soon as you hold your child in your arms for the first time, all good hopes, desires and focuses are transferred from yourself to your child.

Here are some things that I have realized in becoming a mother:

- Being a mother is hard, but who cares?

- Being a mother is the best thing in the world. There are many more wonderful things about motherhood than bad.

- I need to relax. Stressing about the current stage my daughter is in, or worrying that the house is a mess when a friend drops by are ways of life, and worrying won’t make it better.

- Because I’m a stay at home mom, I am all she has during the day. I am the source of her fun, learning experiences, teaching, and companionship. I can’t expect her to entertain herself like I can entertain myself when I’m alone.

- I never realized what joy it would bring to make sacrifices for someone else. I have found a true measure of joy as I make sacrifices for a child. My own mother did the same for me.

- I may never contribute anything grandiose to the world, or conquer any insurmountable task, but being the caregiver to a child is what matters most. If everyone was raised by imperfect parents who tried their best, this world would be quite different.

- When my daughter is happy, I am.

- When my daughter is sad, I am.

-Sometimes I can’t do anything about either of the above.

- Although motherhood may be viewed by media or a small vocal minority as petty and insignificant, the general population believes that being a mother is the most important calling for a female.

- Children in general want the approval of their parents, and thirst for that their entire childhood.

There are many sources of knowledge and information about mothering in books and on the internet. There are also many people who offer their advice from personal experience. The process of reading, asking, and then deciding for myself what is best for my child has been most challenging -- but is the most valuable in the end.

I suppose I will spend the rest of eternity figuring out what a true mother is like, and how I can become that someday.

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