Guest Author No. 2 - Mrs. Nicole Hall
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| “So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin." W. Clement Stone (1902-2002) |
July 14th, 13 days before her birth
“Today is a great day! We had another doctor’s appointment and everything looks great. I’m getting more and more excited for my baby daughter to come each day!
I walked up to church to meet my husband after his meetings, and still no progress…we are so excited for her - we are having to pray for patience!
August 17, 21 days after her birth
“Wow, a lot has changed since I last wrote! Hubby and I are in love with her! She has a lot of hair in the back of her head…she is really gorgeous. Everyone says she looks like her daddy-thank goodness! Her temperament is calm and content. She never cries just for the heck of it.
Nov. 8, 1 year, 4 months old
“Hello, here I am. Life is good right now. It’s crazy as well! Rachel is keeping me on my toes. She is getting 4 teeth up top and she has been a ‘little’ hard.
Every time she goes through a difficult stage, I think I’m going to pull my eyes out-then we realize she is teething or something else major is going on, and that I need to be patient and understanding.
She is also having a hard time being around other kids her age. By the way she reacts around them, I think she feels like they’re going to smash her or something. Will she grow out of this, or is she going to become an introvert and stay that way her whole life??
Today, 1 year, 8 months old
“What a girl we have. She is just a blast. Her personality has officially been unwrapped from the packaging it was in, and she is a doll! After every hard stage, it seems she has grown and advanced in some way. Perhaps that’s the way it is with us as adults?
She is doing a lot better around kids her age, and is loving everything that comes with them….the songs, the cupcakes, the sharing and non-sharing of toys. She still has very difficult times ahead, but because she can communicate with Jim and I, she feels more confidence and freedom in the present.
What a roller coaster of ride it is to be a parent. Many times I find myself asking what happened to my teen years and dependence on mom and dad? What has made me ‘old enough’ to be in charge of this young life?
How could God trust me with her, when I can be so unstable at times as well? The only answers I have come up with are ones that have qualified any well-meaning parent in any age of time. When there is a strong desire to raise a child in the way he should go, there will always be help along the way.
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Like I have recorded in my journal entries, I have tasted the bitter with the sweet in my experience so far as a mother. The sleepless nights in the beginning months were glazed over with the ‘new adorable baby’ frosting. Each stage seems to get better and better, but definitely not easier and easier.
Right now, Rachel is 20 months old. She is a toddler in almost every sense of the word. She talks all the time, tells stories in her own language, takes our finger and pulls us in the direction she wants to go, and cries when she really wants something. She requires a lot of one on one interaction from me since I stay at home with her.
Here are a few ideas and concepts I have learned so far:
• Although she’s only a year and a half old, she deserves to be treated with the respect an adult does.
Let me explain. We hold high expectations for her-almost unconsciously. Because of this, we talk to her in her language, but clearly and matter-of-factly. This involves giving her many daily choices with things that don’t matter to anyone but her.
For example: “Would you like Cheerios or Rice Krispies for breakfast?” or “Do you want to wear this shirt or this one today?” or “Would you like to put your shoes on or me to put them on?” These are just a few of the daily choices she makes each day.
This has totally and completely been empowering to her, and we can see it. Letting her make choices that directly involve her life has made her feel confident and in control of things that make no difference to myself, my husband, or anyone else on the planet.
Making choices daily for herself is one of the many skills she will use her entire life, and letting her make them now helps her feel like she has some control of her world, rather than mom and dad are controlling everything around her.
• If I don’t teach her, someone else will.
I used to think it was the other way around…if we didn’t teach her, no one will. But this is not true anymore! If we don’t teach her correct principles, she will learn the correct or wrong ones from someone else-mainly the wrong ones.
Children are sponges. They will do and say what they see done and said. If Rachel does not learn the difference between wrong and right here at home, she is left to guess her way through life.
There are times throughout our day when I wonder what I can plan next for us to do, and I’ve realized these are the times when, instead of being idle, I can choose to teach her something about our values, about life, about anything!
The other day during one of these idle times, we chose rather than to turn on a movie (even though it was an educational one that she likes and could benefit from), we went outside and started digging in the dirt in the backyard.
It started out really boring at first, but one thing led to another, and a few minutes later we were looking at different bugs, watching airplanes over our heads, and having a small picnic in the grass. I’ve learned that the simple activities do the best teaching, not the complex ones.
• Enjoy the ride.
This one means something different to everyone. But for me, I have to constantly remind myself to do this. I like to see progress, move from one thing to the next, and have things happen on my timetable.
But as a mother, your plans are usually not your child’s. Who knows what is going on in their little world? Until they speak in complete sentences, it can be a guessing game!
I’ve learned that the more I sacrifice my time and self (both within reason of course) in seeing that Rachel is satisfied, is being challenged, etc, the more I see those smiles and laughs that come from her little being!
There is no other person other than a child that could teach you to enjoy the current moment. Their minds do not think farther than the moment, and that is a blessing a lot of the time. Many mothers I meet in the grocery store have a common theme to say to me: “Oh, they are so precious. Time goes very fast, so enjoy her.”
I’m realizing this is the most important work or job a woman could have. This is a great time to be a mother.
There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Please be on the lookout for next week’s installment of our Guest Author series with our second Guest Author Mrs. Nicole Hall, as we gain more insights into how to be a quality parent to our children at any time, for any reason, over and over again.
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