Family Rules Give Order And Defines Expectations Within Our Homes;
|
|
"A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.
If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden." |
Family Rules and Rewards are a necessary part of every well ordered and happily functioning home.
Some families have well-defined and documented (as in written down for all to see) Family Rules and Expectations as well as Parenting Rules, while others have them but are less organized about them.
Setting Family Rules is another necessary part of every well ordered and happily functioning home.
These less formal families have Rules and Expectations that are implied and felt more than read and discussed.
Parenting Today requires families to be nimble and flexible, yet smart enough to figure out what works best for them and to stick with it.
Just as some cultures are highly regimented while others are loosely fit together, all cultures share common norms of thought and behaviors, and so also is the fabric of most families around the world.
Most families understand what will work and what will not work within their own homes, and these family societal norms are what we mean when we talk about Family Rules and Expectations.
Does Your Family Have Rules And Rewards? What
works for you?
Setting Limits is a natural part of family life as rules and limits define what can and cannot be done within a family, and when these rules and limits are broken then the trust, order and cohesiveness of the family breaks down with them.
With Family Rules come Consequences, and this is where Family Expectations and Discipline come into play.
Our children's adherence to Family Rules should be applauded and rewarded. It is a funny yet dependable truth that whatever actions are rewarded are the same actions that are frequently repeated.
Sometimes children do have bad attitudes and other negative behavioral problems which only make setting and keeping family rules more of a challenge. If you are looking for additional help in getting your children to accept and live by your family rules, we recommend this Simple, Step-by-Step Program for parents to help their children in ways they never imagined possible. This is the only program of its kind that we recommend because it works. You can try it as part of a Free Offer today!
It can’t hurt to try it for free, and it just may be the additional Family Rules and Rewards help you’ve been looking for.
It is up to you as the Parent to lay down Parenting Roots and to understand the limits of these Family Rules and Rewards. Just as we don’t want to burden our family with a list of stringent rules a mile long, so also we don’t want to resort to bribing our children to do any little thing they are asked to do around the house.
There must be a balance sought for and attained and that balance is for you to determine based largely on the results you see within your own family.
What follows are some good guidelines to consider when looking for the proper way to implement Family Rules and Rewards within your own house and home.
|
Family Rewards can take all shapes and sizes. They can be rewards that the whole family shares together such as a camping trip or a day spent out in the country. They can also be individual rewards to recognize and acknowledge a particularly good deed, or an outstanding individual accomplishment.
The key is to have the reward clearly linked to the desired behavior, and to educate family members concerning the desirability of certain behaviors in and of themselves, regardless of any rewards that may accompany such desirable behaviors.
The ultimate goal is to use Family Rules and Rewards as a way to instill positive behaviors and productive modes of living within our family members even when they are not rewarded in outward ways.
It is to ultimately teach that correct living is a reward unto itself.
Setting Limits is another important way these lessons are taught.
Most Family Rules involve the setting of certain Limits, and in this way family members learn to live in harmony with the rules and limitations all people must eventually live under as a normal part of a civilized society.
Individual Child Attention is essential to a truly successful Family Rules and Rewards experience, for only when such lessons are internalized by individual family members are they truly learned and beneficial in an ongoing fashion within that family member’s life.
Each Child deserves Individual Attention from one or both parents from time to time.
This Individual Child Attention is always viewed by the child as a Rewarding outcome and should be treated as such.
What our children really want is not more things (though they will always ask for more things until there are understandable limits put in place on such requests), but what our children really want and always remember is more of our time and attention devoted specifically and exclusively to them and what they like to do.
What our children really want is more of our undivided attention.
What better Reward could we possibly give to our children?
Our Parenting Advice is that Preteen Rewards should be geared towards what is cool and fun and interesting to a Preteen child.
Of course what is cool and fun will vary with the Preteen’s gender.
Motivating a Preteen is as easy as finding out what they really want, and then helping them to see that through obeying Family Rules and Expectations they can get those things.
Break the rules or misbehave, and those things are not to be enjoyed.
And please note that Things are not always Tangible Things, but are often things like going to a party, watching a favorite television show, or other favorite activities that they are particularly fond of doing or participating in.
Always remember that you are trying to teach and train your children with this exercise, and not to be mean, arbitrary or abusive.
So be creative and have fun with it.
Teenage Rewards are also useful and necessary as your child grows and matures and yet still needs your help to mold themselves into the people they need to be.
Teenage Rewards will be more age specific and mature in nature according with the differences between a Teenager and a Preteen.
It is important that the Teenage Expectations and Rewards be both realistic and natural, as any attempt to overtly control your Teenagers will usually backfire and rightly so.
How much do you enjoy being manipulated or played for a fool in your own life?
Well that is how much your Teenager will enjoy that treatment coming from you.
So keep it real and keep it loving and the benefits of Teenager Rules and Rewards are there to be had in abundance.
 |
And let’s not forget to reward those doing most of the heavy lifting within your homes: YOU!
Parental Rewards are just as necessary as any others in a family that is going to be happy and successful and harmonious.
Treat yourself every now and again for a Parenting job well done.
When children get rewarded it is a sign that the parents have been successful too, so reward yourself and your spouse for all the good work and positive accomplishments you are seeing occur within your family.
Weekly or bi-weekly date nights are a wonderful way for Parental Rewards to be enjoyed.
Treat one another to a nice evening out or to a favorite activity.
Golf for the men and a spa treatment for the women are just a few ideas.
Parents will not find it a challenge to be creative in this category and why not? You know you have earned it and deserve it, at least every now and then.
Call on one of your Babysitters and go enjoy a well-deserved night out on the town.
Even the children may enjoy an evening without the parents at home as a Family Reward every once in a while.
As was said before, Family Rewards come in all shapes and sizes.
Another good Family Reward idea that should not be overlooked is to have an occasion Boys Night Out.
No matter what the ages of the boys and men in the family, having a Boys Night Out is always a great time of fun and bonding and of making good memories that helps everyone involved, especially when times get tough as they always do every now and again.
Of course it could be a Boys Day Out as well as a Boys Night Out as the time of day or night is not the issue.
Going out and having fun as a bunch of guys is a great motivation and should be used as a special Family Reward when the accomplishment or family occasion warrants it.
And not to leave the women out of all the fun, Girls Night Out is equally as fun and should be used as a special Family Reward for the girls and ladies in the family.
These two nights could actually be coordinated together so as to allow the guys to stay at home and watch the big sporting event while the girls and ladies have a fun night away from home doing what it is they want to do.
Or the girls and ladies can stay home and have full range of the house while the guys go out and do their thing.
Just try to illustrate that besides being a great family activity in and of themselves, these Family Rewards are tied into and directly related to positive behaviors and accomplishments so as to emphasize that good behavior on an on-going basis and to reward it accordingly.
There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Family Rules and Rewards thought: Set the Family Rules in your home to create the type of actions and behaviors you want to be surrounded by in the peace and tranquility of your own home.
Be creative and generous with both your time and means to provide the Family Rewards that will be cherished by those who receive them with the view of fostering the types of permanent positive behaviors you and your family wish to enjoy at any time, for any reason, over and over again.
Family Rules And Rewards Are Useful And Effective Tools In Creating The Type Of Home Life And Family Culture That Leads To A Real Life “Happily Ever After”!
Return from the Family Rules and Rewards Page to the Home Page
 |
 |