Learn How To Protect, Safeguard, Love And Benefit Your Child In The Potentially Explosive Issue Of Child Custody
We could also discuss such things as Visit Child Support, Visitation, Legal Separation, Child Custody Agreements, Shared Parenting, Long Distance Parenting and on and on, but that is NOT what we want to talk about here. If you wish to know your legal rights under the law, the best advice is to consult a competent lawyer. The Child Custody discussion we wish to have is a practical one, directed at giving Parents concrete and useful helps and suggestions to benefit and safeguard both your child AND your relationship with that child. These are difficult times for both Parent and child. There are many Effects of Single Parenting that you should be aware of. The following helps are intended to assist your child through these trying times with increased confidence in you and in your love as the Parent, while helping you to avoid Parenting mistakes that could inadvertently injure the child you love or your relationship with that child.
It’s About Your Child’s Best Interests (It’s NOT About You) Since the majority of Child Custody matters revolve around a Parental relationship that has broken or is breaking up, it is only natural to feel strong emotions regarding the person who once made up the ’other half’ of that Parenting ’whole’. You will see that person, your Ex, in court. You very likely will hear arguments from them that you may have heard a hundred times before; arguments that will test the limits of your patience and civility. Share Your Favorite Parenting Success Story What has your child accomplished? Child Custody matters can be viewed as a form of legal tug-of-war but only by the foolish, the selfish, and by those blind to their own well-being. These issues are never easy and are seldom pretty, but you need to do all in your power to make it both for the benefit of your child who needs it to be so. At time like these you must remind yourself, your lawyer, and everyone else who is ‘on your side’ that Child Custody is meant to revolve around what is in the best interest of the child. This is NOT about you nor should you ever make it about you. Everything you do and say in these matters must have as their end result the BEST interest of the child; YOUR child. Do not turn this into revenge or payback or anything other than an honest attempt to best serve and meet the many needs of the child you love. This is not some game of chess, and the last thing a loving Parent wants to do is to turn their child into a pawn to serve their own selfish interests and agenda.
Don’t Speak Ill Of Your Ex-Spouse Or Ex-Partner In Front Of Your Child - Ever As already noted, Child Custody is a time of high stress and drama for the Parents who have decided to no longer parent together. One of the biggest mistakes a Parent can make is to speak ill of the other Parent, their Ex, in the presence of their child. The breakup of a family is always a traumatic experience for the child of such a breakup. It’s just the way it is. Yet the single most important factor to the successful adjustment of your child to this Parental and family break-up, and to the Child Custody that follows it, is your ability to stay civil with your Ex, if for no other reason than for the well-being and emotional adjustment of your child. Speaking ill of your Ex to, or in the presence of, you child is to put your child in the middle of where they don’t belong and don’t want or deserve to be. Speaking ill of your Ex is a recipe for disaster in your relationship with your child 100% of the time. It is an unkind and immature thing to do to your child, and they will resent you for it either now or later on in life, or both. Speaking ill of your Ex in the presence, or within earshot of your child, is a classical ‘Nothing To Gain And Everything To Lose’ Parental proposition, and you simply must find a way to be a big enough person and a caring enough Parent not to do it. There are appropriate people in your life with whom you can fully vent your rage and frustration regarding your Ex. That person, however, will never under any circumstances be your child.
Your Child Will Always Love BOTH Parents The main and obvious reason you never want to speak ill of your Ex in the presence of your child is because your child will ALWAYS love BOTH Parents; you and your Ex. This constant love of a child for BOTH Parents is a common and fundamental fact of like that is all too often forgotten, ignored, or simply not understood in matters of divorce, separation and Child Custody. Getting a divorce, or separating from a former Partner or Spouse, dissolves that particular adult relationship but does absolutely nothing to the fact that a child still and forever has only two parents whom they will always love and need in their life. That is as it should be and you should be grateful for it. Be grateful for that simple fact every remaining day of your life! A Parent has to do a whole lot of damage for a child to no longer feel this primal and instinctive and in most cases well-deserved love for a Parent. When it comes right down to it, keep in mind that your child doesn’t want to choose between his or her Parents. Your child loves and wants and deserves BOTH Parents to be a part of their life. How to best serve this need and desire of a child for his or her Parents is the whole meaning and purpose behind Child Custody matters. Keep in mind this constant love a child feels for both of his or her Parents and then use this knowledge to your best Parenting advantage, especially when it comes to Child Custody concerns. Remember that a child doesn't want to choose between Parents as if it were a choice between colored pencil for an art project. A child needs, wants and deserves BOTH loving Parents to be involved in their life, and that is what you need to try your best to make sure they get!
Do Your Parental Best To Minimize Any Additional Hurt Or Pain Your Child May Feel When It Comes To Child Custody Issues We all understand that it is the children who suffer the most when it comes to divorce, separation, and the loss of a family unit the child wants so desperately to keep. You as the Parent can do the next best thing for your child by doing all in your power to minimize any additional hurt or pain your child may possibly feel regarding Child Custody issues by observing the following guidelines: • Maintain as good of a relationship as possible with your Ex, no matter what you feel or think about them. This will show your child that you respect their Mother or Father and will win you respect beyond reckoning in your child’s eyes • Stay in control of how you react to your Ex. Minimize your exposure to your Ex if need be, but do be the master of your words and actions in your interactions with your Ex • Be cooperative if and when your Ex needs you to switch weekends and/or holidays with them, as long as said requests are kept within reason • Be on time when you are to deliver or pick up your child per the Child Custody Agreement • Be on time with your Child Support Payments and with your other child related financial agreements and responsibilities. After all, it is your child and their happy future whom you are supporting with these funds • Remember that unless there is compelling evidence to the contrary, your Ex loves and cherishes your child as much as you do. Use this knowledge to act accordingly in all Child Custody matters As you can plainly see, what you are being asked to do is to be a mature, caring, responsible and self-sacrificing Parent for your child when it comes to Child Custody, and when it comes to anything else remotely related to your child’s happiness and well-being. These are by no means easy things to do, especially in light of the powerful and all-too-real emotions surrounding Child Custody matters. The issue has to ultimately be: How much do you love your child, and what are you willing to do and to become to help keep your child from ever being hurt again? There is a lot more parenting wisdom to share. Here is another Child Custody thought: Be the Parent who helps their child feel and express their full allotment of Parental love, for and towards BOTH of their Parents whom they will always love and need, at any time, for any reason, over and over again. Child Custody Is A Time To Work Together To Ensure That The Best Interests Of The Child Are Identified And Met In A Way That Both Parents Stay Actively Involved In The Growth And Development Of The Child They Love, And Who Will Always Love And Need The Both Of Them In Return. Return from the Child Custody Page to the Single Parents Page
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