Bed Wetting Is A Normal Part Of Growing Up And This Too Will Pass

Bed Wetting is a normal part of childhood that children simply grow out of once they are older.

Until then, there are some wonderful tips and strategies that we will share with you to help parents and children alike to make it through this difficult time with the least amount of trauma and conflict possible.

To begin with, parents need to know that bed wetting is a normal part of Parenting A Toddler and is not a sign that their Potty Training process has somehow failed or gone awry.

Bed Wetting does seem to coincide with the Potty Training experience though, because once a child is potty trained they want to feel like they are past that stage for good and don’t want to wear diapers or absorbent underwear anymore, and hence the bed gets wet when nighttime accidents happen. We will speak more on this just a little later.

Bed Wetting is also closely aligned with the deeper meanings associated with Baby Safety, in that as parents we don’t want our child’s sense of normalcy or well-being to be affected by this natural yet challenging and embarrassing part of childhood.

How we as parents approach this topic with our children, and how we deal with it while it is occurring will go a long way towards protecting and safeguarding our children’s sense of worth and place and status within the home. How we deal with this issue with our children is also the best possible indicator of how our children will deal with this issue with our future Grandchildren, so it is in everyone’s best interest to act with love and to get this right.

The technical term for Bed Wetting, or sleep wetting, is nocturnal (nighttime) enuresis (the involuntary discharge of urine), and it often runs in the family.

In other words, Bed Wetting can be hereditary, just like our child’s eye colors and body types. This fact should instill instant empathy and understanding between parent and child, as well as the parental understanding that this temporary condition is never intentional on the part of the child.

Most children start Bed Wetting in the classical sense around the time they are potty trained since that is the time they learn to control and deal with their daytime bathroom urges the way anyone else does; they recognize that they need to use the bathroom and so they go and use the bathroom.

They are awake and alert and it’s all good.

I’m glad that you may be wondering why I used the term ‘Bed Wetting in the classical sense’ in the above paragraph, so I will explain.

Before your child was potty trained, they wore diapers or absorbent underwear all of the time. It made no difference to you if they went to the bathroom in the middle of the day or the middle of the night since the diapers kept everything dry and in check.

Now that your child is potty trained, or what I refer to as ‘daytime potty trained’, and he or she wants to wear ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ underwear, parents should remember that your child has not yet learned to be ‘potty trained’ at night, or in their sleep.

This is something new to them and is a skill which will only come with time and practice, as do all new skills.

It should come as no surprise to parents that Bed Wetting occurs since children who just recently wore diapers all day and all night are not yet used to having to control their bathroom urges at night. In fact, until very recently they never even understood that this urge needed to be controlled, since in the days of their wearing diapers it did NOT need to be.

Reading Otto Grows Down, Our New Fav Bedtime Story! - © GoodNCrazy

Most children never even consider having to do this until they have had a few Bed Wetting accidents, and most of the literature on this subject seems to completely omit this link and natural transition between daytime potty training and the need to transfer this skill to the nighttime.

This is one very common sense reason why Bed Wetting occurs, and really helps us to put it into its proper child developmental time and place perspective.

Bed Wetting is a normal developmental stage that all children must go through, some to a greater and some to a lesser degree.

Think of it in adult terms for just a moment: When you as an adult are learning a new skill at work or for fun, doesn’t it take you a little time and practice before you can learn to do that new skill well, and on a consistent basis?

Why would this principle be any different for our children who never had to control going to the bathroom at night before, but who now realize that this must be done and the sooner the better for everyone?

It is interesting to note that just as in potty training, girls seem to master the problem of Bed Wetting sooner than do boys, which corresponds to their more advanced development over boys in most things during early child development.

In fact, boys are up to three times as likely than girls to have night wetting issues, though statistics are useless in all cases when you or someone you love actually has such and such an issue.

Boy’s and girl’s development do seem to catch up to one another around the age of 16, but this is another fact for another time.

Most Bed Wetting issues occur around the age of 4, and most children grow out of this stage by the age of 7, though for some it may take a year or two longer as each child is unique and every situation varies.

20% of children starting grade school do have struggles with sleep wetting, yet 15% of children overcome this issue every year naturally and without any outside treatment. Most children just naturally ‘get it’ and grow out of it with the passage of time and the natural desire to overcome this embarrassing stage of their childhood development.

Some Common Causes Of Bed Wetting Are:

• Never having to have controlled the urge to relieve yourself at night before (nighttime bladder control has not yet been established with your child)

• Excessive liquid intake prior to going to bed

• Genetic factors (as mentioned earlier, this condition does tend to run in families)

• Delayed physical development (children grow up at different rates and your child’s bladder capacity may be less than half of what is considered normal for his or her age. Not to worry, your child, including your child’s bladder, will continue to grow normally with time)

• Being a sound sleeper could prevent your child from waking up, even when wet

• Stress, such as that associated with entering school, the arrival of a new baby in the home, the loss or separation of a parent, or other stress factors directly affecting your child

• Constipation (the muscles used to hold back stool can dilate the rectum, which can press on the bladder at night and cause Bed Wetting)

• Not using the bathroom immediately prior to going to sleep

What Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Overcome Bed Wetting:

• Always treat your child with patience and understanding (ESPECIALLY when you don’t feel particularly patient or understanding)

• Help your child to understand that Bed Wetting is a NORMAL part of growing up, and explain to them that many children have this issue, even other kids whom your child may know from school or play, and that everyone has to overcome this issue in order to fully grow up (the goal is to help your child feel normal and yet motivated to overcome this issue)

• When your child goes for his/her next doctor visit, have the doctor explain the normalcy of this issue with your child, the prevalence of this issue among your child’s peers, and some of the things you both can do to help make this issue a thing of the past. This will further help your child to know that they are normal and that this is simply one more thing they need to work on and to eventually conquer

• Limit the amount of liquid your child is allowed to drink prior to going to bed at night

• Make sure your child uses the bathroom immediately prior to going to bed at night

• If parents go to bed even a few hours after their child does, parents may want to wake the child to use the bathroom again before the parent goes to sleep. Many children do not even remember you having woken them the next morning and this parental action often helps a great deal

• Motivate your child through rewards for those nights they stay dry in bed, such as with an extra bedtime story or an extra cookie after lunch

• NEVER punish your child for night wetting as this IS NOT an intentional act on the part of your child

• Consider having your child wear absorbent underwear to bed until such time as they can sleep through the night without Bed Wetting for 7 days in a row. Explain that this is only temporary and this will serve as additional motivation for your child and will reduce clean-up hassles for everyone should accidents occur during the night

• There are water-safe nighttime alarms that can be attached to underwear and that beep if they get wet during the night. You can help your child to get up at night and use the bathroom, or help them when the alarm sounds at night, whatever the case may be

• Help reduce the amount of stress your child feels to the extent possible, and don’t add undue stress because of this Bed Wetting issue. It may be difficult while you are going through it, but this too shall pass as it always does

• Help to cure the cause of your child’s constipation if this is applicable to your child’s situation.

• Insist that your child change the sheets and helps to make their bed after each night wetting incident, and possibly have your child help with the washing of their sheets if this is an age-appropriate activity for your child to help with. This exercise in direct cause-and-effect is vital to your child’s growth and learning as regards this particular issue

It should be noted that there are medications that a child can take to address the effects of night wetting, but I am not a big fan of over-medicating our children, PLUS these medicines do not cure the causes of Bed Wetting.

Also, these medicines should only be used when combined with one of the forms of helps mentioned above to correct the cause of the problem, and not just to treat the results of the same.

Bed Wetting is a child development right-of-passage that all children must go through as they grow and mature in life, and parents can be a great help and support to their children as they learn to overcome this issue and learn to sleep dryly the whole night through.

Return from the Bed Wetting Page to the Potty Training Page